the domino effect. or something like it.

I'm in a good mood so this blog is in no way a rant; it is really just a compilation of some observations I have made recently.
Have you ever noticed that things happen in a sort of domino effect or in a sequence...?

People's actions have direct results on other people's actions whether they meant for them to or not.

For example:

When one person parks like a pig (read: asshole), it forces everyone else to park like a pig. You can never really decipher who the first pig was, but then, if all the other people clear out and you're the only car left, you're the one that looks like the pig. There is a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this and it cracks me up, because who wants to be the one that looks like the "pig parker" (as Larry David calls it) when it was just some other idiot that 1. doesn't know how to park or 2. is just a selfish, careless, oblivious "pig parker".

The next thing that happens in a domino effect is urinating on the toilet seat. For men, this isn't necessarily an issue because you don't need to get your junk in a close enough range to the bowl for this to be relevant, but for women, man this is just annoying. So one snot-nose (for lack of better words) comes up and squats and leaves her business all over the seat and then the next person thinks they can squat a little higher with no regard to aim and do the same. By the time the tenth person gets in there (odds are - C'est MOI!!), the original snot-nose's urine is dried up and you can't even clean it up if you want to and you have to squat so far away to avoid the puddle of urine from shooting back up at you. Hasn't anyone heard the good old sayings "Please be a sweetie and wipe the seatie" or "Please be neat and wipe the seat"? (If I may add one more bathroom domino effect issue that drives me crazy, it's when someone finishes the toilet paper roll and doesn't replace it. Then, the next person is stuck drip drying - or worse, if it's out the other end.)

The next thing is when people park their car somewhere and put their flashers on... I believe these lights are actually called your hazard lights. They are meant to be used to signal a warning for something.. uum hazardous. When did they become the lights you use when you 1. are too lazy to park somewhere farther away and walk 2. "are just going inside for a minute" "you'll be really quick" 3. don't want to pay for parking and/or 4. are waiting for someone..? Once one person does this, everyone else follows suit. The next thing you know there is a traffic jam of people sitting there with their flashers on and I'm always the idiot sitting in the back of this pile with my flashers on thinking there is an actual hazard up ahead, rather than the reality of the situation which is usually that people are just going in to buy cigarettes. People who need to buy cigarettes need to park closely because their lungs won't tolerate the walk from the parking space to the cash register... is that the excuse? I'm just curious when it started that the flashers became the symbol not for an actual emergency but for a pit stop. When one person throws on the flashers, everyone else is relieved they don't have to be the ringleader and that it is "ok" to park it right there, in the middle of the road. So, in essence, they are causing the hazard with their hazard lights.

The next thing is not necessarily a domino effect but causes a number of people to have to worry and check themselves which is sort of a domino effect. I was recently in a classroom with about twenty other people and someone was sporting some God awful stinky feet. I was feeling super insecure for the whole afternoon. I was kind of leaning forward and sticking my head between my knees and trying to get a whiff of my shoes. Then, I was examining each person around me and trying to determine who the culprit was. Maybe I'm just crazy but I don't think I could have been the only person trying to figure out if they were the cause of this stench. Not only does everyone have to be subjected to this unpleasantness, but you're left having a panic attack wondering if this could possibly be you. I couldn't concentrate on anything but thinking about if I showered, if I had previously worn the shoes without socks, or even if I'm that person in general - do my shoes normally smell? Am I the smelly kid!? (The end result is that my shoes and feet didn't stink at all, but it still gave me anxiety for a whole afternoon).

Now the above scenario refers to all unnecessary smells. Another solid example would be, of course, you guessed it... body odor. The great BO! Come on now...  you don't even have to shower. Take a Puerto Rican shower - ya know, put some soap on a wash cloth and scrub the pits. After, apply deodorant. Repeat as many times as needed. BO is just incredible and incredibly obnoxious. Sometimes it really does take my breath away. Not to say we don't have some ripe armpits aux Etats-Unis but French people specialize in this art form much the same as they do in making delicious bread. I guess you take the pros with the cons. But thinking about a stinky baker almost (just almost) makes me not want to eat the bread!

Dog poop on the street. This has quickly become one of the biggest annoyances for me here. The streets are land mines. Wikipedia informed me that the definition of a land mine is: an explosive device, concealed under or on the ground and designed to destroy or disable enemy targets as they pass over or near the device. So, yeah, I think doggie doo doo plops accurately into that definition. The domino effect here is that once one person doesn't pick up after their dog, every other person says, "Why should I if he didn't?" Thus, land mines. You literally need to walk looking down. New York streets are littered with garbage and French streets with actual shit. 

In an effort to keep my brain from exploding with more domino effect scenarios, I think that's all. This is my first blog in a month. Partially because I don't have much to say and also because I'm just living and sometimes it isn't fun to stop and smell the roses :)

The days are flying by, and it seems like just yesterday I was ringing in the New Year with my family in NJ and shortly after enjoying the Florida sun with my Mom. When did it get to be April!? Sometimes I can't keep up!

This winter has been wonderful, and I am adapting to life in Europe. We had an amazing ski trip with my family in Grindelwald, Switzerland. We spent two weekends with my guy's family in the Lorraine region of France. And, to top it all off, we found a beautiful, new apartment and my man kept his promise of getting me those double sinks! I am looking forward to my second Spring in France and all that the next few months have in store for me. Although, I should say, I am disappointed that I won't be going back to the United States as planned but I'll be back soon enough.
Do you have any other domino effect-ish things that you've noticed?

living in the moment.

I haven't blogged in a while. My weeks have been super busy as I'm trying to get a lot of hours in before I have to leave my job. I have also been working out a lot. It is sometimes hard to find the time, but I always feel so good afterwards. I've been keeping healthy through diet and exercise and it has become something so important to me (not that it ever wasn't!).

I've been using the an iPhone app called MyFitnessPal and you can also keep track through their website. It's a good way to be aware of what you eat by keeping track of how many calories, protein, iron, calcium, carbs, fat, etc. are in the food you eat. You can keep track of how many glasses of water you drink, too. Then, you add your cardio workout to let you know how many calories you burned so you can stay consistently at 1200 calories a day of intake - if you burn calories, you eat more to be at that 1200 calorie goal. The more you burn, the more you can eat!

I have still been suffering off and on with these stomach aches and tomorrow I will go for an echo to figure out what the problem is. I also had blood-work done but haven't had the chance to go and pick up the results. All in all, it has been very busy.

Last weekend I did find the time to wind down and relax. My guy and I had breakfast out Saturday morning, and then I went for a nice run (Well, I was only outside for my run to the gym) but while on the treadmill, the window was open which was so refreshing. I was seriously smiling the whole time I was running. After, I went to lunch with a friend. I had a wonderful three course meal - green salad, salmon filet, and a café gourmand. It was such a beautiful day.

café gourmand - espresso with a few miniature desserts

Last week was one of those glorious weeks that teases you with a hint of Spring. It was poncho/no coat wearing weather. I didn't have to wait for my car to heat up in the morning (love that!) and even cracked the window a few times.

During the weekend we did some pre-birthday celebrating for my guy because we knew Monday night we'd both we working. I gave him a beautiful Montblanc pen which he loved. I wrapped the pen in a shoe box and then in a cologne box so he had to open three boxes to get to the surprise! The pen arrived a few weeks ago and I had been counting the days until his birthday because I could not wait to reveal my surprise!

Besides that, there's nothing new. However, I do want to post my Thai Curry recipe because I think I've finally mastered it!! :)

What I'm listening to right now:

nudity, sex, politics- rated R

Well, this weekend took an interesting turn while out on the town in Mulhouse. The drive to Mulhouse is about 45 minutes. We take this trip almost every weekend because the cuisine is a lot more diverse. We love Thai food and we have become somewhat of regulars at Pum Thai. It definitely doesn't compete with our favorite Thai restaurants in NYC or the delicious Thai food we ate in Amsterdam, but we'll take what we can get. 


After dinner we ended up at a salsa bar that was recommended to us. We were minding our own business and chatting when randomly a male stripper came out... a bachelorette party, we assumed. He was wrapped in an American flag (and totally disrespecting it if I might add). That was enough to get my attention. Well, that and the fact that he was right in the center of the bar for all to see. Everyone formed a circle and had their cameras flashing. His innocent grinding (okay not so innocent for a woman about to be married) turned into him being fully naked, kissing, and on the ground... uum dare I say body slamming this woman. Now, I have heard of lap dances but this was on a whole different level. 


I thought I'd share a picture... (P.S. Men in thongs = totally wrong)

This is just another example of how the world is somewhat obsessed with the culture and life in the United States. What made this stripper use an American flag as his theme? Or umm... as his clothing. 


I remember once reading this quote about nudity: "I always thought, because America is supposed to be the land of the free, nudity would be part of the norm over there, but it isn't. It's surprising." -Mark Roberts


Television, Media, etc. in the United States have always been censored. This has, perhaps, been one of the biggest WOAH things for me here. You can find nakedness almost everywhere in Europe. There are prostitutes on the streets of my small town. Additionally, I can think of at least three sex shops I've seen in a three block radius. I remember a sign I saw in Switzerland when vacationing with my family in 2005, "Last sex shop before the Jungfrau." Better stock up on your sex toys before you get to the summit of the mountain! You can easily turn on the television and see a commercial about sex. Movies are rated totally differently and there is so much sex for the youngsters to see. And, well, lastly and perhaps the most serious issue regarding sex is sex and politics.


Sex and politics have gone hand in hand here for... well, for as far back as... always (Napolean Bonaparte famously took a mistress after rumors surfaced that his wife Josephine had taken a lover), but stories about the private lives of politicians historically have mostly been kept secret unlike in the USA (JFK, Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards). When Bill Clinton "didn't have sexual relations with that woman" it was a HUGE scandal but here politicians all admittedly have mistresses. Sex is open, power is sexy, and just seen as normal behavior. 


I don't think of myself as a prude. I don't close my eyes during sex scenes in a movie, but, when is it too much? What kind of influence does this have on the people here? I think if I could vote in France I wouldn't vote for someone like DSK just because he is a man-whore. However, a majority of the people I have spoken to are not phased by this because he is so good at his job. I cannot believe that someone has the time to spend on his job when he is so easily sidetracked by women and that he could respect his business affairs when he is so disrespectful to his own wife. 

President François Mitterrand knowingly had a love child. It was kept secret throughout his whole presidency but disclosed not long before his death. He was essentially leading a double life. Don't you agree? In this article, France's most prominent psychologist said: Jacques Chirac recently admitted in a book: "There have been women I have loved a lot, as discreetly as possible". Her article is about husband's affairs being "good for marriage." Uuum, what??

This isn't to say that cheating isn't a two way street. I met a colleague here in France. While out with her (trying to make a friend), she admitted to me that she could "never be faithful" and that she wouldn't mind her boyfriend of five years (and the one she calls "the one") cheating on her so long as she never knew about it. I'd like to think I have an open mind but this instantly made me dismiss her as anything more than a colleague. If someone can lie to someone they love, what kind of friend would that make them?

I could go on and on about this topic, but quite frankly, I have said enough. The taste in my mouth is full of bile and I am in need of another chocolate chip pancake ;) 

I will never understand that kind of life, and I can't see how a strong, powerful woman like Anne Sinclair (think: France's Oprah) could say (to L'Express in 2006) regarding her husband's extramarital affairs and nickname "the great seducer" that she's “rather proud of it.”

There are cultural differences here that I can accept and will soon adapt to but there are other cultural norms that I will never be able to tolerate. I am a passionate person, a hopeless romantic, and a lover of love. If someone can't make a commitment, then don't. The definition of commitment is dedication; a promise and a synonym is obligation. And, well, if someone can't commit to one person, how can they possibly commit to 65 million people? 

Ausfahrt.

Well I don't have much to say as this week has been anticlimactic. Saturday we woke up very early to go shopping in Germany (I didn't buy anything). However, I did eat delicious falafel.

I did see a woman with a crazy mohawk Afro thing going on.

And, we did, as always, laugh at the German exit signs (because we're immature).

But, that's really all we did. It continues to be either freezing cold, snowing, raining, or sleeting which isn't really fun. I guess that's winter for ya.

I joined the gym here two days ago at the incredible price of 90 euros ($118) per month. I literally gasped. I am not sure what the price of my gym back home is these days, but I used to pay $60 a month and that included a ton of amazing classes, a ton of equipment, two pools, a hot tub, etc etc etc. This gym is SO small - there are only 2 treadmills so it's a game of chance. It doesn't even have dumbbells. It certainly doesn't have any classes. There isn't a place to do any abdominal exercises so I have to come home and do that on my yoga mat. There is a pool... I'll give them that.

I think I am too hard on France sometimes and always want to compare it to the wonderful things I am accustomed to at home... but gosh, in the USA, possibilities really are endless. The United States is a blending of all cultures, and that's what makes it so special.

I am looking forward to the Spring and one glorious month in the USA :) April, are you here yet??

sunshine.

What I'm listening to right now:













So life has been crazy these past two weeks. My Uncle (who was like a brother to me) unexpectedly died. I flew home the next flight out. The time was wonderful spent with family but it was so busy. Every day was filled with running a million errands and every evening was spent with the whole extended family. I had to make a collage for the services and prepare and practice the eulogy. There wasn't enough time in the day - pair that with jet-lag and just being sad about the circumstances, it was a hard time. I was so happy to be with my family through this time and really would have regretted it if I didn't fly home. As upset as we all were, it was amazing to ring in 2012 with my whole family together. We aren't often all together in the same country let alone the same state. The circumstances that brought us together were and still are heartbreaking, but it was a wonderful time with family, regardless.

My Mom, "a snowbird", now spends her winters in my parent's condo in Florida. She had already planned to leave the day after the services. She was going to cancel but my Dad convinced her that she should still go. She didn't feel right about the whole thing since I would be home and there were still a lot of loose ends with dealing with death stuff - so my Dad said, "What if Kaylan flies down with you? Would you do that, Kay?" Well, I don't know anyone that would turn down a trip to Florida.

After the services and the gathering after, my Mom and I headed home and packed our bags for Florida. We left early the next morning. I spent Tuesday afternoon through Saturday morning with her there. We had such a great time. I ate a lot of yummy fish sandwiches and coconut shrimp and cajun fries. We made homemade guacamole with freshly picked (huge) Florida avocados. We had a lot of time to talk and read and shop and to relax!! It went by too fast.

Saturday morning I was flying home after one last apple strudel sitting by the water. I flew directly to the airport in Atlantic City where my Dad picked me up. We stopped for a late lunch, and then we drove to the airport in Newark where he unloaded me and I was off to Europe.

I had one of those crazy, exhausting trips. I just about missed my flight as I went to the wrong terminal. I was bringing my skis with me and a huge suitcase and a rolly carry-on as well as a big overnight bag. After discovering I was in the wrong terminal, I had to lug all 4 of those bags to an elevator then to an air tram then to another elevator and then to the Continental check-in desk. I, of course, at to redistribute the weight in my overweight bag which really made me angry. The bag is allowed to be 50 lbs. I had to pay $70 for an extra bag (the skis) that weighed like 20 lbs. Doesn't it seem like my bag weighing 60 lbs should be OK then considering I actually paid for more weight? No, so there I was unloading everything while sweating and freaking out because it was now 35 minutes before my flight was leaving and I hadn't gone through security yet.

I arrived at the gate just as the last few stragglers were piling on the plane. I had a layover in Paris and then for some odd reason (booking a last minute flight) I had to go to Frankfurt and then back to Switzerland/France. By the time I got home last night, I had been traveling for more than a day.

Am I exhausted today? Yes. Was it all worth it? Yes. I'll share some pics tomorrow.

wonderful things make wonderful days.

Today was some kind of holy day here. After 4 straight weeks of rain (sprinkled with snow and hail), the sun came out! It was miraculous and beautiful and refreshing and oh, so pleasant. Needless to say, it has been a wonderful few days.

Although this was not a traditional Christmas and it was my first Christmas away from the family, it was wonderful in its own way. We made a bunch of hors d'oeuvres and filled the table with these wonderful treats. We had traditional French things such as toast points with smoked salmon and foie gras (I obviously did not do any eating of that). We had shrimp cocktail, miniature sauce covered crackers with different cheeses and olives on top (and served hot out of the oven), pasta, and cheese (my favorite from the Basque region).

We skyped with my family and watched them open the presents we gave them. We danced in the apartment together. Then, we exchanged gifts.

Christmas day was unusual but equally as wonderful. We started with homemade pancakes, watched five movies, and munched on leftovers throughout the day.

Perhaps it wasn't a traditional Christmas but it was a wonderful weekend spent with a guy who sometimes needs to sit back, relax, and disconnect from his work.

My vacation started today! I spent it doing some returns, catching up on e-mails, driving 45 minutes (and back) to get us Subway foot-longs and just relaxing!

The sky is incredible tonight. There is a crescent moon and the North Star is incredibly bright. Seeing that beautiful sunset on my way home from my extremely unnecessary trip to Subway was a wonderful ending to my relaxing day.

I'm juicing up the iPod now and then I'm off to hit the gym! Any recommendations for workout music?

Well, here's what I'm listening to now:

YAY!

I thought this week would creep its way on by as I am very anxious for tomorrow, but it surprisingly flew by (like each week before it!). I had many classes, a lot of preparing, and a lot of drama with our car (thanks to the mechanics doing something terribly wrong to it and then not being able to figure out what they did wrong)!!!!  However, all in all, the week was a positive one, partially because I have been so excited for what tomorrow will bring..... MY MOM!

My Mom has had quite the travel bug lately. She spent last weekend at a very good friend's wedding (which I regretably could not attend) in Boston. She arrived back in NJ on Sunday evening. She flew out Tuesday morning to North Carolina for a little trip with her gal pals and arrived back in Jersey late last night. Tonight, she leaves for France! She'll be staying at the beautiful Best Western Hotel Belfort in the best room! Retired life is treating her well.

AND, not only will my Mom be coming, but today marks the last day (or at least this is what I have been promised) in the marathon work schedule my guy has had. Over 40 days (with the exception of the one amazing Sunday) he has worked non-stop - day and night - and usually until the wee hours of the morning. Let's put it this way - if I saw him before 10pm, it was a miracle! And, I don't really think I ever did. In fact, over the course of the last week, he was working until 2, 3, 4 and sometimes 5am!!! UGH! Glad that is over.

Not only will I be able to see my guy more, but I will have my Mom here, too... so it's perfect! I know my French man will be a perfect tour guide, and I am really looking forward to spending time with two people I really love.

I am looking forward to eating delicious food, seeing new sights, shopping, talking, and showing my Mom the town where I have lived for the past 7 months (with the exception of the one month vaca I took back home!).

I know the 10 days my Mom will spend in France will be marvelous. She will arrive tomorrow evening at Basel-Mulhouse Airport - on the border of Switzerland and France - just 45 minutes from my home!

So that's my big, exciting news! What are you all doing this weekend?

life or something like it.

Monday came so quickly, but I don't mind. The week days are really the only days I get to socialize with people. Plus, I like what I do. Really, I get paid to have conversations with all different kinds of people. Sometimes, of course, I need to throw in some lessons about verbs and adverbs, but even that knowledge has slowly crept back into my repertoire. Some people have fascinating jobs, and I can just sit and listen to them talk about it for our whole session, usually losing track of time. I correct some errors with pronunciation or when they forget their irregulars verbs. I help when they can't find the right word. They eagerly write it down, repeating it and repeating it, intent on adding it to their growing English vocabulary. Others don't want to speak of work and would rather tell me about the fabulous places they have traveled, both for work and pleasure, and I sit there with my jaw dropped, lusting over one day getting to see these places. There are times when they tell me so much information that I know the inner-workings of their company. I know about the problems they have with employees. I know when someone will be fired before they do. There are a few that use me as their psychologist, explaining the issues they have with work-life balance or asking me how they should deal with an issue with their wife. I have many that enjoy talking about politics, others seem to have no clue what is going on around them. They help me to adapt to the culture by telling me the way they do things, events happening in the area, and together we compare life in our two very different countries.

I am truly blessed to have a job that stimulates my mind. I am truly blessed to have students that are eager to learn. Without a doubt, there are a select few that want to only speak French, don't study their English, and are there because their company is paying them to be there. It can be frustrating, but in time, they, too, will progress. I just want every student to get something out of being a student of mine. I want everyone's English to improve, no matter what their level. I think the hardest part about learning a language is finding the confidence to speak it. Just because you know the words doesn't mean you feel confident enough in the way you pronounce them to try to say them. Without gaining this confidence, there is no chance to practice and to progress. This is something I, myself, have trouble with but like all things, time will tell.

The brisk fall weather has finally started to grace us with its presence here. I am pulling out last year's sweaters and bundling up. I'm back to wearing scarves. I need to go into my storage in the basement and bring up the rest of my sweaters, scarves, and perhaps most essential to me now, my cold weather shoes! My little ballet flats and summery heels are cold. With this weather has come rain, and it's that cold kind of rain that leaves you feeling so raw. There's something about this kind of weather that makes me want to wear stylish layers and a little bit extra make-up. Summer always involves light clothing, naturally bronzed skin, barely-there make-up, and casual hair. When falls comes, I want to be more creative with my look and feel fashion-forward (if it's possible)!

This year my guy and I have a big goal - paying back our college loans. We want to use our extra money to get those out of the way, rather than buying new clothes or traveling. We both love having new things and feeling stylish so this isn't easy for us. As I pass by the windows and see beautiful clothing with styles so fresh, I am craving some new pieces. My shoes from last year look worn and tired, but it's ok. I went through my clothes yesterday. I reorganized everything. Sometimes when you do that, you realize how much you do have; and don't take pity on my lack of buying, because I certainly don't have a lack of clothing. In fact, I have so much that my only real problem is where to put everything.

I decided I can still wear some of my summer dresses if I wear them with a blazer and tights. I can pair things in new ways. AND, a huge help to me right now is that I can wear jeans to work. I absolutely love this. My last job had me dressing like a grandma. I wasn't allowed to wear heels as my office was in a kitchen. It makes it so much easier when I can wear casual clothing. Of course, I can dress up when I want, but it's so much more fun to be in jeans and heels than trousers, button-ups, and flats (plus, I don't have to iron everyday!).

All in all, life is good (a bit lonely at times) but things are definitely looking up. I went out for coffee with my first French friend last Thursday night. We talked - sometimes in French, sometimes in English - for hours. We had so much to say, so much to learn about each other. We joked. We talked about serious things. We talked about our families and our guys. We talked about traveling. Heck, we talked about everything, and it was so nice. We scheduled our Thursday nights as a new, permanent date night (both adding this to our agendas immediately which I found to be funny - sitting in a restaurant with our agendas tucked in our purses). It is such a relief to have a friend here. I was beginning to lose hope!

I am looking forward to this week. As inspired by other bloggers, I am going to make a new goal each week. This week's goal is to exercise daily. I know it's something that makes me happy. I am always happy when I feel good about my body.

Have a nice week everyone. Will you take this challenge and make a new goal each week with me?

first day of work.

I am now halfway through my first day of work. In France, there are designated lunch hours which is amazing!! I never had a designated lunch break - or a lunch break at all. Most of my lunches consisted of something I could eat while I was driving between locations, walking around a location, or sitting at my desk. I am using this much-needed break to take a siesta!

What a doozy this day has been so far. I hate to complain because it is my first day working in.. uum.. almost 6 months, and I am so (over the moon) happy to finally be working... and it's only orientation... BUT I had no idea my orientation would be totally in FRENCH!!!

Well, I am off to give my brain a rest before I am back at it.

P.S. I promise I have some recipes coming that you will definitely enjoy. Some vegan (like the cupcakes on my last post)... some not-so-vegan (like the creamy pesto stuffed chicken I made last night)... but all delicious.

Have a marvelous Monday (Is that corny? It reminds me of my senior year of high school when I did the morning announcements. Each morning we said things like that!)

adjusting.

I am finding it somewhat difficult to adjust to life in France. I am happy here, really, I am. However, it isn't as easy of an adjustment as it was for my guy when he came to live in NYC.

I try to explain this to him, to make sure he understands just how different our situations are, but sometimes I just don't think he gets it. And, I don't know why I have this burning desire for him to get it. What does it matter anyway? I guess I just want to hear him say, "Yeah, babe, I'm sure this isn't easy."

I think I finally succeeded in getting this out of him tonight, but I'm still not completely content with his agreeing because I never wanted him to agree or cry mercy and say it, I guess I wanted him to go out of his way to say, "You're brave. You're strong." Something like that...?

When I told him today that my Mom's Facebook newsfeed was buzzing after she posted that I was starting work and driving there with a stick-shift for the first time, he kind of laughed. And, when I told him her friends were commenting how brave I was, he laughed again. This kind of annoyed me.

You see, my living in a foreign country is a big deal to my family, our circle of friends, and well, obviously, to me. He, on the other hand, has been living away from home since he was 13. He went to a sort of "boarding school" on a scholarship for handball (an actual sport - not just something we play in gym class) for the French equivalent of 8th through 12th grade. He studied in schools all over France for university while playing handball professionally. He studied abroad while playing professionally in Holland for a year. He had an internship in Morocco and played for the Moroccan national team. He worked in NYC for a year...

So you see - living in different places is no big thing for him. For me it is though... I am out of my element. I went to Penn State University - 4 hours from the home I grew up in, the only home I ever knew, the home my Dad built with his own two hands in New Jersey. I moved to NY after college where I began working... you see the pattern here. I was never more than one state away from my home, let alone on another continent entirely. It is very hard for me to be away from my support system - here I have no family or friends.

When he came to NYC to work, he already spoke English. I'm learning French as I go, while I am here. He came to the USA for a job working in the industry he loves, and I can't even begin to try to find a job doing what I love until I can speak enough French to do so. In the meantime, I have been fortunate enough to find a job but I am so 1st day of Kindergarten nervous. This job is out of my comfort zone (nor did I spend over $100k on my education to do something else entirely).  It is only women that work there and women can be so cliquey. Will I be the oddball? Will they sit around the table eating their baguettes and speaking in French while I sit there alone? I am sure I am over-thinking this whole thing, but I can't help that I am nervous.

Not to mention that to get to work, I need to drive. Our vehicle is a manual. Trying to learn to drive stick has been an experience on its own. My guy has ZERO patience. I cannot accept constructive criticism. Plus, I'm kind of a big baby. Pair us together and learning has been, well, not so fun. Finally, yesterday, we went out twice. I think we were really successful!! It finally clicked for me (much easier to learn when his veins aren't popping out of his skull with frustration because then I really can't take him seriously).

So in the end, I don't know what I'm waiting for.. a prize, a nod of acknowledgement, or maybe it has more to do with me. Maybe I, myself, am looking for the satisfaction I need to feel acclimated to life here. I need to be the one to study my French harder, to not be afraid to go out and meet people, to join a running club or a yoga group. Maybe I need to open the doors to my tiny, lovely apartment and stop acting like Miss Havisham, locked up in here, afraid of the unknown outside my doors.

new home and other random thoughts.

This weekend I spent some time at Belflorissimo. It was a flower market in Belfort - but only for the weekend. I love fresh flowers. I love the smell. I love the way they look in the house. And, even if I buy them for myself, which is usually the case, there's something romantic about having fresh flowers. I was excited to look at all the flowers and to put some on our table, in our apartment... OUR apartment. Yay! Finally. This is really our first apartment.. together.. alone. I couldn't be more excited.

We spent all day Saturday running around to grocery stores to stock our cabinets and to home stores to buy much needed essentials. We were busy unpacking, organizing, reorganizing, and just getting settled. The apartment is so perfect, and I am so happy here. We even have a little backyard with a garden - I've already purchased mint and tomatoes but can't wait to buy more flowers, basil, etc. I see dollar signs involved here, but I really want to transform our little yard into an escape... with lights, a hammock, flowers, fresh herbs and veggies, some lounge chairs... hmm... and more!

All these new adventures and forward moving steps together with my love have me thinking a lot about love. And, I realized that the French language, one supposedly so romantic, doesn't have a word that deciphers between like and love. Doesn't that seem wrong? I feel like when you're in a relationship, it's a big step to say "I love you" after months or years of saying "I like you." In French, there's really no differentiating. If I want to say I like something, I say, "J'aime" (I like) but if I want to say I love something, I also say "J'aime" (I love). I told my teacher that I feel like a creep telling someone I like them because I think it sounds like I'm saying I love them. She said usually someone would say, "J'aime beaucoup" (I like a lot) if you're referring to liking something and just j'aime if you love it. So all this time I've been telling people "J'aime ma professeur," I've been sounding like I'm in love with her?? Couldn't this problem just be solved by having a separate word for love? Is that too much to ask?

Well, that's all I have time for today. I'm already feeling so at peace in my new home and anxious to accomplish more. I sat down and made breakfast and drank a cup of tea in my pajamas this morning. My guy and I have already shared fun meals together and late night sweet treats. That sure beats having to get all dressed and put makeup on to go get a snack at the hotel. Today, I want to do some gardening, deep cleaning, and then pack my bag because tomorrow I'm off to visit my Aunt and Uncle in Italy for a week!

Ciao friends! xx

La vita è bella!

My guy has been working on a project at work that has consumed his life. It has caused me a bit of heartache as I find myself doing everything alone. I eat by myself - breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I spend my days entertaining myself. I'm literally always alone. The thing about being alone all the time is it affords you too much time to think and sometimes thinking too much isn't a good thing. Sometimes my thoughts become my arch nemesis. So going on a little trip to be with a huge family was just what I needed this weekend, and it's just what I did.

When my guy's sister called me Thursday night to invite me to her house for the weekend, I was excited for the chance to be around people. I was excited to see the wife of my guy's oldest brother whom I haven't seen since arriving in France. I was excited to see all the little nieces and nephews. I was excited to talk to adults. I was excited to showcase my newly acquired French skills!

We departed early Saturday afternoon in what was sure to be an adventure. My love's middle brother rented an 8 passenger Mercedes van. When it pulled up to pick me up, I had to laugh. In it were his parents, his sister, his sister's husband, their 2 babies (one born last month and the other who turned 1 last month - both who were absolutely amazing for the long ride), the middle brother, and myself. I got to sit shot gun! His brother and sister asked me about my family and about home, we talked about television shows that were famous in France and did I know them. His brother was excited to ask me if I knew Baracuda which made me laugh. It was a great chance for me to improve my French and to bond with my new family. The only thing missing was my love who was, of course, working.

The reason for us all traveling to his sister's was because she bought a new house. We were all meeting there to celebrate her new home and the birth of the baby. It is Islamic tradition to kill a goat when a baby is born. They brought the goat back for a big BBQ. What better place to have a big family gathering than at her new home!

Upon arriving at his sister's house, I was in shock. She had sent me pictures of the house they'd purchased and it was... in need of repair. Repair it they did! Seriously, it should have been taped for a flip that house kind of show. The transformation was 360. The original house was unrecognizable. No details were missed. From the modern kitchen to the beautiful furniture from the amazing collection at French furniture manufacturer Collinet to the big terrace to the dreamy little girls' rooms to the bathroom with the big tub, I was seriously in awe. The house was so beautiful and as I told them so, they were so modest. I kept looking from the originals pictures on my iPhone to the house in live form. Wow!

before

after

before

after

So once I got the full tour, I set out to mingle with the family. My love grew up very differently than I did. I have one sister. He has 3 sisters and 2 brothers. I'm the youngest of 2. He's the youngest of 6. My sister is 18 month older than me. His oldest sister is 15 years older than him. In addition to his brother's and sister's, he has 2 nephews and 6 nieces. He has 3 brother-in-laws and a sister-in-law. His whole family speaks French and Arabic. They make me laugh trying to speak English. I find it to be very cute. His one sister speaks very well. He wasn't there to translate for me this weekend so I was forced to speak French which was perfect for me!

We ate delicious BBQ ranging from chicken to sausage to goat, shrimp cocktail, ratatouille, tabbouleh, salad, cakes, and bread. We drank Moroccan mint tea and tons of espresso. The weather was amazing. Everyone was in good spirits. I just can't stress enough what a warm, loving, and fun weekend it was. I loved watching the family dynamic - the guys joking with each other and sharing stories, the little girls playing, the 3 year old boy proudly fastening the Velcro on his sandals, the ladies coming with their hands wide open as their mother shared with them the goodies she brought from Morocco - olive oil, almonds, peanuts, honey, etc. She assured me that I, too, would share in this one day. With that being said, I got to leave with good memories and a hint of excitement for what the future has to bring.

view from the terrace

J'adore Paris.

Dear Paris,

Thank you so much for welcoming me once again this weekend. My love and I had a splendid time. Both you and the weather were amazing!

We couldn't decide whether to come see you on Saturday or Sunday... Finally I made the decision for us and said, we're going! We packed our bags, raided the hotel for some snacks, and we were on the train (this spontaneity seems to be a pattern!).

We were trying to find a hotel while on the train but with the service being patchy, we had no luck. We didn't think it would be a big issue. As it turned out, it was not an easy task. First of all, we didn't realize you were hosting the French football championship that very night. Second, with it being a holiday weekend, we weren't the only ones who took advantage of the chance to come see your beauty. I was starting to get irritated and my love was starting to panic until we were finally (sigh of relief) successful. It ended up being more than we wanted to spend but was such a nice room - a studio complete with a large bathroom and a little kitchenette. The view from the room was so cute - beautiful trees and cafes, wide streets, and little girls prancing around in their Easter dresses.

We went out that night with old friends of his from school. They, too, were a couple. I haven't interacted with anyone my age since I've been in France so not only was it nice to meet his friends (that I've heard so much about prior to this meeting) but the change of pace was really nice. We went out to dinner and then after went out on the town.

Sunday we did so much bike riding that my butt literally was hurting the next day. We rode and rode and rode until my love had a flat tire. He took videos while I took pictures. He was coordinated enough to be able to take the videos while riding the bike. I had to stop every time I wanted to take a picture. We saw SO much of your beautiful city... seriously, my butt can attest for the fact that we were everywhere.

I was so exhausted after that long day of sightseeing, but I somehow managed to call my family then get dressed to go back to meet his friends (a nutella and banana crepe momentarily helped put a little extra spring in my step but the sugar high quickly wore off!). They had to meet to go over some work stuff. I kind of just sat there - understanding French is hard for me, understanding French when I am tired is impossible! I try not to get frustrated, but I want to learn faster!

Monday morning we woke up early and were off to see the Eiffel Tower again. I really can't get enough of it! We had a delicious meal in plain view of the tower, while I stared, amazed at the beautiful apartments surrounding me. Each is unique in its own way but there was a definite trend - little red awnings with white trim, flowers engulfing their balconies, wrought iron tables, trellises, and wide open windows. That is the dream.

We met up with his friends for a while after lunch and a bunch of touristic picture taking, and then we were back on the train headed east, headed home.

Paris, I so enjoyed seeing you again. You truly are a divine city. 

                             à très bientôt <3 Kaylan

N'oublie Jamais

So when I first arrived in France, we decided a good way for me to practice my French would be to watch movies in French. We've only watched one of the five we bought that night - N'oublie Jamais (The Notebook). I read the book way before it became a hit blockbuster, and I will admit that I actually still loved the movie which, for me, is NEVER the case. It is such a beautiful love story, and I don't think anyone, male or female, could deny that.  I could probably watch that movie 100 times and never get tired of it.

I think maybe I'm just feeling romantic right now after a wonderful weekend in Paris. We had such an amazing time, and I have plenty of pictures to share. We met up with a wonderful couple, friends of his from school. We ate good food. We saw so much of the city. And, I fell in love with Paris and my man all over again.

...And, it got me to thinking of The Notebook and how true romance is possible and how it isn't always easy. Our journey hasn't been easy, but as my favorite quote from the movie goes...

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." 

So look at me... I'm living in France. What am I sacrificing really? Sure, I miss my family and friends. I know that I will always go see them though. I will visit them often. It won't change my love for them or their love for me. France... could be worse. This is a wonderful place for people to come visit! If my love is here, that's where I want to be. And, that leads me to my second favorite quote from The Notebook...

"That's my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that's where my home is." And, it's true.

award winning sweets - count me in!!!

Over dinner the other night, my guy's brother enlightened us on Belfort's hidden gem - Pâtisserie KLEIN. Apparently, the grandfather, his son, and now, in its third generation, Stéphane Klein, have all been France's champions in creating art with chocolate and sugar. This barely recognizable little shop features some of the most beautiful and tasty creations. Now, I have been eating my fair share of sweets in recent weeks but Klein's candies and chocolates, as anticipated, were on another level.

my love's afternoon treat

mmm.. mine, the house specialty

cherries, lemon cream, and whipped cream

all chocolate with caramel, mousse, and biscuit

 We truly loved our afternoon treats. You can see they are very small (as are most portions in France compared to the US), but I swear, I couldn't finish mine in one sitting. It was so rich. My love, on the other hand, did not have a problem polishing off his Toyko-themed treat while saying, "Mmmmm" with every bite!

Klein's charges top dollar and people come from all over the world for 2, 4, 5, or 6 day classes on everything from pastry making to sugar work.  The classes start at €1500 which is over $2000 right now. I guess it is a small price to pay when you're learning from France's best!

The best part for us is - Klein's is located right next to the hotel! How did we not know about this place before!?

what a wonderful weekend.

This past weekend was really great!

It started on Friday night. My love took me to the old city part of Belfort where we went to a traditional French restaurant. Everything from the food to the decor was so French. We both really enjoyed it.

Saturday morning we had planned to go to a G Star outlet store in Germany. He really likes the clothes there and the prices are really affordable. We both did some browsing and didn't find anything. However, it was such a beautiful day, and we didn't want to head back to Belfort just yet.

My uncle had written on my Facebook about how we should go to Freiburg and so we did. I didn't even realize we were going there until I started seeing signs and realized which direction we were headed. It was just wonderful driving with the windows down, letting the sun seep in, and having the freedom of going wherever we pleased.

The city of Freiburg was really cute! All of the architecture is, of course, very traditional German. There were so many coffee shops and pastry shops. Because it was such a beautiful day, every cafe was packed. Everyone was sitting outside; the streets were bustling; it was very jolly. It must rain a lot there, because all the streets had a little steam running down them. I guess how we have sewage drains, Freiburg has these open streams. They are about 1 to 1.5 feet wide. All the kids had these little boats on strings that they would pull along with them as they walked down the streets. It was very cute! *We didn't bring a camera, an iPhone or anything with us to take photos as the original plan was just to go to the outlets. We bought a disposable camera so I will post more about Freiburg when I get the pictures back!

After we returned from Freiburg, we went over to see his sister who was 9 months pregnant! She has another baby girl that will be 1 year this month. When we arrived, she was wearing her I <3 NY onesie that we brought from NY! It was nice to see the family!

We went back to his Mom's house where I prepared a dish I had been really looking forward to making. One of my favorite bloggers posted this recipe back in March. My love and I truly enjoyed the meal! I omitted the wine and instead added lemon juice. I also doubled the tomatoes since I love cooked, fresh tomatoes. I also added 2 peperoncinis to the pan because we didn't have any dried red pepper flakes and we wanted the extra kick they would have provided. We used all fresh ingredients - fresh shrimp (this turned out to be a bit of a pain as peeling, deveining, and cleaning the shrimp was quite time consuming but thankfully my love took the reigns on that project), fresh tomatoes, fresh parsley, even the juice from fresh lemons (I cut up lemon slices and cooked them in the pan, too). We served it over pasta. It was so delicious! I will definitely be making that again.

We were woken up at about 9 on Sunday morning with the call we had been anxiously awaiting - it was time!!! We hurried ourselves out of bed, threw some clothes on, and we were out the door. My job was to watch the baby while my love took the expectant family to the hospital. This, as it turned out, was not a job. The baby slept until 10. She didn't make a sound when she woke up. I kept checking in and eventually found her standing up in her crib. I was nervous she might cry when she saw me (thinking, you are not my mom!). However, she had a big smile which warmed my heart - I could see all 4 teeth!! We enjoyed the morning together eating, dancing, singing, and hide and seek (although not even a year, she is a very fast walker!!!)! I welcome the fact that this beautiful baby girl is the only person on this planet that enjoys my singing!! She also loves Lady Gaga (as she danced she said, "Gaga!")! It was so funny. Every time the music would come on.. she would start bending her knees and bouncing up and down or swaying back and forth. I just love her!

And now, she is a big sister!! Another beautiful, healthy baby girl was welcomed into the family yesterday... how exciting! Yesterday was my father's birthday so I was secretly hoping the new baby would be born on that same day, and to my delight, my wish came true!

On that note, Dad, hope your birthday was a good one!

After leaving the hospital, having a coffee back at the hotel with his oldest sister and her family (it was my first time meeting them and they were SO nice), we took a short drive to  Montbéliard. We took a walk and soaked in the last moments of the weekend together before Monday would arrive and bring with it another busy week. The weekend was such a happy one and we didn't want it to end.

Tour de France: Strasbourg

The truth is, even if we didn't travel on the weekends I would be happy. My love works SO much during the week which means I am alone all the time. I  look forward to the weekends, because I love getting to spend time with him. We can finally catch up on what's going on at his work and what I am learning in my French class. I love that! I didn't think it was possible to miss someone you see everyday, but now I know it is. However, it is really nice to get to see new places so I welcome the opportunity!

This past weekend, we took an impromptu trip to Strasbourg. Saturday morning we were sitting around and thinking about what we could do (it was such a beautiful day) when my love said, "Do you want to go to Strasbourg?" I said, "Sure, why not!?" He said, "The train leaves in 10 minutes so can you be ready in 5 minutes?" I said, "I guess we'll see!" We threw clothes in an overnight bag. I put my wet hair in a ponytail. We grabbed some stuff to do on the train, and we were off! We sprinted across the street to the station. The man said, "Train to Strasbourg leaves in 30 minutes!" (in French, but I understood!).  We laughed that we had hurried so much and we still had 30 minutes. I went back across the street to put some makeup on and to raid the hotel fridge for some snacks for the 1.5 hour train ride. He went to the ticket counter to purchase our tickets and to secure a hotel room in Strasbourg.

I studied my French on the train; he read the newspaper. We admired the countryside together. I would point things out to him (my mom's favorite trees), people riding bikes (I would say, "Look, it's my dad!"), and people wearing not enough clothes in their yards to be living next to where the train passes (if you catch my drift!). He would tell me the names of towns or what the names of certain things were in French. It was very pleasant.


Upon arriving in Strasbourg, I liked it immediately. It helped that it was just a perfect day weather-wise. The sun was shining; everyone was smiling; there were people laying on the grass basking in the sun, and the shops were full of people browsing. We walked all around and took a lot of photos. We had lunch right outside the beautiful cathedral (pictured above). We liked the food so much that we went back for dinner. We just walked and walked. It was a fabulous day.

Sunday was another beautiful day. We walked around some more. We had delicious Italian gelato (the line was out the door). You can't see that great (last picture), but they would make the gelato look like a rose on your cone. In the US, I am used to getting a cone with scoops on top, This was much fancier! I had pistachio, coconut, and dark chocolate. My love had lemon, strawberry, and chocolate. They had so many flavors including 3 different kinds of chocolate, nutella, a myriad of nut and fruit flavors, and specialties like caramel, dulce de leche, etc. It was very cute and doing a lot of business! After we had our gelato, we went and laid in the sun and people watched for the rest of the afternoon.

Overall, it was a good weekend. Strasbourg is in the Alsace region which is historically German. The architecture is much more representative of German style. I prefer the old, quaint look and feel of the French style. I definitely wouldn't want to live in Strasbourg (too many people could speak English and I would never learn French!!). However, I do think it's a nice place to visit. There were a lot of super high end stores there - Hermes, Gucci, Cartier - as well as my favorites - Zara and H&M. I hope my Tour Guide de France takes me back there someday!