amsterdam.

view from hotel window

all the bikes from the hotel window

see my excitement upon finding this place in the video below

Two weekends ago we spent our weekend in Amsterdam. It was a short, spontaneous trip. My guy was going there on business starting that Sunday and Friday night he suggested I come a day early (the following day) so I could meet his friend, see the city, and spend a night out dancing our butts off. And, so that's what we did. We arrived Saturday evening. I met his very nice friend (whose English had a very wonderful Croatian accent). We stayed out until the wee hours of the morning - because, well, why not? Sunday we enjoyed an Asian food festival and had one too many (or not) veggie spring rolls. We had to, of course, go to a French fry place and eat French fries smothered in ketchup (although there were about 20 different toppings to choose from). We walked all around the city - Bopping in and out of shops, looking at old buildings, marveling at bikers and houseboats aplenty, and paying 1€ to use the 'loo' all the while. We ate at a delicious Thai restaurant for dinner (SOOO good!). Then, Monday morning I was on the first flight back to France. Boo!

The nice thing about Amsterdam is that almost everyone speaks English. It made things very easy for us English-speakers. There are so many tourists in Amsterdam, but luckily, my guy had studied in Holland while in University so he knew a little bit about the city to help us steer clear of too much touristy stuff. 

I first went to Amsterdam in 2005 with my sister. We did the whole hostel, meeting people, being young thing. It was so much fun. We went to coffee shops. I ate space cake which was a big thing for me as I was a vegan. I figured, when in Amsterdam, eat space cake. We went to the Anne Frank house which was so so so moving and something I would love to do every time I am in Amsterdam. Our youthful trip was wonderful and fun (and a trip to remember!), but it is always a different experience doing things with someone new. It is nice to walk through a strange city, seeing new things, and holding the hand of someone you adore. I enjoy that... a lot. I don't think I will ever tire of walking through strange cities and seeing new things and holding the hand of that someone I adore. ....as long as life is always as spontaneous and bizarre as it is now. Because, as I have said before, I bore easily.

Video below makes clear two things. The first is that I love Asian food. The second is that I am a pig! 

for ever ever

"I never want to live without you."

These are the words these couples said to each other, and they meant it. Check out this article by Huffington Post. It is precious and the kind of story that gives me hope. With divorce rates so high (around 50% in the USA), it is discouraging to think that maybe marriages aren't meant to last forever. Maybe marriage is a fleeting moment of happiness until the next best thing comes along. When did it get like this? Nowadays, it is so easy for people to give up and divorce. When I hear about people divorcing I think, did you try?, what about the children?. What happened to for better or for worse? Until death do us part? I guess people write their own vows now saying things like "Until I find someone smarter, more romantic, better looking, richer, funnier, more compatible..." Who knows. 

P.S. Did you hear that there will now be Huff Post France and Anne Sinclair will be the editorial director?  Looking forward to this!

a dose of positive thinking.

 what I'm listening to right now:

Have a wonderful weekend!

bridal shower inspiration.

I had done a lot of work planning a bridal shower. I had researched online, scoured the Internet for inspiration, and then bundled all this information together via a folder on my desktop.

It was something I was having so much fun with and was very excited to bring together. Unfortunately, I won't get to live out this little dream of mine. I became a little piece of the puzzle and eventually my piece wasn't needed. It was decided that the date planned wouldn't work and the date was changed (way too much money to change my already booked flight). At first, I was heartbroken by this, but obviously, it wasn't meant to be.

I was excited not only for the decorating and cooking and crafting, I was excited to be the Maid of Honor that would get to write in the little notebook what everyone purchased for the glowing bride. I was excited to be there every step of the way. I was excited to help make that silly hat of bows and ribbons that the bride would wear... but I'm no longer crying over spilled milk.

I will have to keep this information for one day in the future - perhaps my own sister's bridal shower!!!

I still wanted to share my inspiration since I did have so much fun with it.

I wanted the feeling to be very intimate. Thus, I felt having the event in a beautiful home would have been much better than in some stuffy, impersonal atmosphere. The setting would have been my Aunt and Uncle's AMAZING home (I was delighted when my Aunt said YES! to having the event at her home). The home is beautiful inside and out (panoramic views of the Manasquan River). check it out!

 I wanted to keep the decorations intimate and romantic by including beautiful colors, flowers, textures, candles, and cute extras (like the I Do cupcakes below). The food would have been just as wonderful!

See the pictures below:

10 enemies of the couple.

So last night we were looking at the news on yahoo.fr when we saw a feature article:

Les 10 ennemis du couple

When I saw the first one, La télévision, I started laughing so much and grabbing the computer from my guy. It is definitely one of our enemies! We spend so much of our time together watching movies or catching up on American TV via the Internet (our replacement for a TV). We often always eat dinner in front of our computer(s). Our computer(s) act as our connection to the world (the news, means of communication with friends and family, our TV, our radio, uumm everything). From MacBooks to iPhones to iPads to iPods, we are always connected. I think our situation is a little bit different because he works in digital advertising and I don't have the opportunity to go catch a bite with friends and family so instead it's e-mailing, Facebooking, Skyping, Tweeting, blogging, G-chatting... but it is no excuse for the fact that we rarely ever disconnect. Maybe once a week I suggest we eat dinner at our table, and it's always the same scenario. 1) He acts like this is such a bizarre concept 2) I throw a mini temper tantrum 3) We sit at the dinner table.

So last night, after I pried the computer from him, I read the next 9... chuckling the whole time. Consider your own relationship. Are any of these your enemies?

2. slippers (meaning being in the house too much and not getting out)

3. working overtime!!

4. the bathroom door (and other things that come with being comfortable around each other like walking around the house looking like a hot mess and leaving your things lying around)

5. inattention

6. excessive jealousy

7. abstinence

8. the in-laws (or in our case, just the family of your guy or gal)

9. lack of planning for the future (but come on, really... what's wrong with living for the day!?)

10. silence (lack of conversation) - for anyone that knows me, this will never be an issue!!!

 I won't dissect our relationship but I will say that I don't really think of number 9 as an enemy to anyone because I believe in living for the day. I think the opposite - planning for the future - could be an enemy. It would drive me crazy being with someone who was too much of a planner. I have to go grocery shopping like everyday because I can't even plan in advance what I will make for tomorrow's dinner (or tonight's... 3pm... I better get on that). It irritates me when someone says, "What are you doing next Friday?" Next Friday!!!! I'm going to decide next Friday what I'm doing next Friday. 

 My only other comment is that if anyone knows me, number 10 will never be an issue. Lack of silence... quite possibly. 

What I'm listening to right now:

 

does it get any better than this?

wonderful things make wonderful days.

Today was some kind of holy day here. After 4 straight weeks of rain (sprinkled with snow and hail), the sun came out! It was miraculous and beautiful and refreshing and oh, so pleasant. Needless to say, it has been a wonderful few days.

Although this was not a traditional Christmas and it was my first Christmas away from the family, it was wonderful in its own way. We made a bunch of hors d'oeuvres and filled the table with these wonderful treats. We had traditional French things such as toast points with smoked salmon and foie gras (I obviously did not do any eating of that). We had shrimp cocktail, miniature sauce covered crackers with different cheeses and olives on top (and served hot out of the oven), pasta, and cheese (my favorite from the Basque region).

We skyped with my family and watched them open the presents we gave them. We danced in the apartment together. Then, we exchanged gifts.

Christmas day was unusual but equally as wonderful. We started with homemade pancakes, watched five movies, and munched on leftovers throughout the day.

Perhaps it wasn't a traditional Christmas but it was a wonderful weekend spent with a guy who sometimes needs to sit back, relax, and disconnect from his work.

My vacation started today! I spent it doing some returns, catching up on e-mails, driving 45 minutes (and back) to get us Subway foot-longs and just relaxing!

The sky is incredible tonight. There is a crescent moon and the North Star is incredibly bright. Seeing that beautiful sunset on my way home from my extremely unnecessary trip to Subway was a wonderful ending to my relaxing day.

I'm juicing up the iPod now and then I'm off to hit the gym! Any recommendations for workout music?

Well, here's what I'm listening to now:

the little things.

I have been so sick these past few days. It started Friday night. I had a mildly sore throat that evolved into a terribly sore throat by Saturday. I didn't really mind, because I assumed it was a consequence of the changing weather and a wonderful opportunity to lay on the couch watching Felicity re-runs all day. I did manage to peel myself off the couch in time to get out for a run while the sun was still shining. It was too beautiful a day to stay wrapped up in blankets. I stopped every so often on my run to pick flowers to put in a mason jar in my living room. It is such a cute touch in the apartment. Although, I probably looked like such a flower child running with flowers in my hand decked out in head to toe pink running gear!

Sunday I was magically feeling much better and had a lovely day with the one I love. It was a wonderful day - a day full of compromising. I wanted to wake early, in time for breakfast at the hotel. I wanted to go for a romantic walk all afternoon around the beautiful town as the sun shone down on everything. My hands became full as I shed layer after layer. It was hot and we were burning in the blazing sun, but not the kind of burning that leaves you red, the kind of burning that reminds you you're alive. My guy tagged along dutifully, because the compromise was this: I chose what to do in the morning and the afternoon was all his!

Around 3 o'clock, "his part of the day" commenced. He wanted me to make lunch. I whipped up some grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches on delicious, crunchy bread I had picked up fresh from the corner boulangerie. I quickly cut up and fried homemade french fries. This has become somewhat of a staple in our little apartment. Sure, it is wildly unhealthy but for two people always on the move - comfort food is a welcomed pleasure (plus, after 7 years of veganism and I can't even remember how many years of not eating cheese, this new thing... this amazing sandwich full of butter and cheese has become somewhat of a revelation, seriously how could I have been missing out on this for all those years?). After our greasy, gooey lunch we took a long nap and watched movies all night.

To me, this was a perfect day. Besides the fact that it was his first day off in (no lie) 20 days, we both had the opportunity to share with the other what makes us happy. Me - a long walk through the winding streets and hidden trails of this historic town. Him - an afternoon of maxin' and relaxin' with his favorite gal (that's me!).

It may just be the little things in life that really do make us happy. Those little things fill in all the nooks and crannies in my heart. Whether it be a sweet package from my Mom, new flowers in my apartment, or a wonderful day spent with the one I love... these little moments, these small treasures... well, they just fill me up with the kind of happiness that envelopes me with love.  It makes me feel safe.

So as for the current state of my health.... UGH!!! By Monday I was back to being sick, and it seems to be getting worse by the day. I will try to get to the doctor, but this isn't as easy as you may think. I need to bring my translator (my guy) along but he usually doesn't have the time to take lunch let alone leave for over an hour to get me to a doctor. I canceled my classes today after my first class was a bit gross, coughing, sneezing and swallowing flem as I tried to annunciate pronunciation.

I am just so thankful that I had a small reprieve from my sickness on Sunday, allowing me the chance to have some much-needed time with my guy. Maybe being sick now stinks, but that's life and it could be much worse.   A little coughing and sneezing never killed anyone (right!?).

Now I lay me down to sleep...

a beautiful life.

my life has been consumed by watching reruns of felicity on the internet, writing lesson plans, teaching english classes, making new friends, and wasting time in between all of that.

needless to say, my house has been a complete mess. for the first time in a long time (since college), i don't even mind. okay, well, i didn't mind until tonight when i realized, it's getting out of hand. but back to when i didn't mind... although i love nothing more (i'm not exaggerating when i say this) than clean sheets, i went a few extra days. although i love clean floors, i think it's been over a week since i mopped them. i love when everything is in its place and organized and when i can't see dust on the light switches. i love when my cords are tightly wrapped around the appliances not in use and when my makeup is neatly lined up in its drawer. i love when i have 5 clean dish towels for backup. i love when the laundry basket isn't more than half full.

lately, i haven't cared. i want to come home, turn the lights off, light my candles, eat dark chocolate, and relax in front of a show that fills me up with hope. it makes me smile and cry. it just makes me feel good. this may seem really strange, but sometimes we need to laugh and cry and be filled with hope - no matter what it is that brings us to these emotions. sometimes we need to see the light. sometimes we need to know that we're not alone - we're not the only ones scared, worried, filled with doubt, and dreaming.

it's like that quote... the famous one from john lennon... "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." and, it's so true.

i spend so much time setting expectations and trying to meet deadlines and worrying about where my life is going and what my future has in store for me that i don't take the time to just be me. i need to stop thinking - not only about the future but about the past. actually, the past more so than the future. i need to let go. i spend so much time being angry about the past and worried about the future that i make the here and now really crappy.

i'm living in france! i live in a town that may be quieter than i am used to but it's colorful and romantic. it has history. why can't i just be happy with that? i am too busy complaining about the lack of starbucks to be happy with the delicious bakeries and the pedestrian-filled streets, and the great fortress that sits in the middle of the town. it really is incredible.

so who cares if my laundry basket is overflowing. i am living and feeling. i am so in love. i am so lucky in love. yes, he has hurt me. but i need to finally forgive and forget and move on. it seems silly but when i look at my guy (even when i am mad or pretending to be mad), i just want to hug him and get lost in his love. i know that i mean the world to him and he means the world to me.

from this moment, i am opening my eyes. i am seeing the world. i have a lot to do. i have a lot to see. i'm just getting started. and, my very best friend will be there with me.

oh, and my very best girl friend (!!!!!) asked me yesterday to be her maid of honor. so i'm just full of love. she, too, means the world to me.

i guess i really am lucky in love. sometimes in relationships going through hell isn't so bad if you come out of it a little stronger. and, i never was one for boring relationships.

tonight i've turned off felicity, turned on some beautiful music, lit my candles, and i will get this place together. and, when my guy comes home, i will tell him just how much he means to me.

don't postpone joy.

Yesterday, as I was driving home from work, I started thinking about my life. I make it seem so horrible when I write on my blog, don't I? Don't get me wrong... some days stink. Isn't that normal though? Life is full of its ups and downs. Life is a rollercoaster, of course. The expression stands true. However, sometimes I think I have more to say when I'm upset/when I'm having a bad day. I have a bad temper and being upset fuels my creativity??? Maybe! I'm not sure about that, but I do know that I am the kind of person that deals with a problem by (excuse the language) talking the crap out of it.

There are some people that like to be alone when they are upset. They don't want to talk about it. They go into a room, close the door, put some headphones on and DO NOT (under any circumstances) want to be bothered. I can't relate to this at all. I'm the girl knocking on the door saying, "Let's talk about it. Are you okay?" For this type of personality, it is not only annoying but almost an invasion of privacy. I don't know what it is that they do - maybe write in a journal or just think or sleep it off... not sure, because as I said, I don't get it.

I want to understand the situation. I want to ask a million questions or analyze every angle. I want to pour my heart out, cry a river, do some research on the internet, ask more questions, call some people to talk some more and get outside opinions, call some more people, write on my blog, send some e-mails asking more opinions, drink some tea, eat some chocolate, and then take a shower. Once I'm in the shower, (sigh of relief) I have finally come to terms with the argument.

I am the kind of person that meets someone and immediately comes home to do a Google search. I don't take things lightly. I am super (can I stress the super here?) sensitive. I have a hard time forgetting but am always very forgiving. I am hard on myself and hard on other people, too. I have a very big heart and expect a lot of people, because I know what I would do for them. I am the annoying person when watching a movie or a TV show that has to try to predict what is going to happen. However, I am also the person that in that same movie theater is laughing the loudest.

I was raised by a woman that didn't do anything half-ass. She is someone that is so wonderful at celebrating the little joys in life. She would celebrate anything she could celebrate. "Congrats on your presentation!" "Your first goal!" "Your second goal!" "Your third goal!" ...and so on. Perhaps it is why I require so much recognition for a job well done now. When I make a good meal, I want to hear some praise. When I'm at work, I want to hear my boss saying I'm doing a good job. When I clean the apartment, I want my guy to come home and notice. Because with my Mom, nothing ever went unnoticed. Everything from a new haircut to a birthday was a big deal in our house. A day never passed by without kind words or a celebration from my Mom.

I think she has created such a high standard. When I had my first day of work here in France, honestly, I expected my guy to give me a little celebration. OK, I'm 25 and maybe I should grow out of this, but I love celebrating life's little moments. And, I am so thankful to have been raised by someone who made me think the sun was shining out my ass. Life is so precious, so why not celebrate it with the ones we love? My Mom could be a spokeswoman for unconditional love.

So in the end, what I am trying to say is... I am very lucky. Perhaps I write more about the bad days, but maybe it's because on the good days, I am far too busy relishing all the happiness to find time for words. I am loved. I am living in a wonderful city in FRANCE! I am an educated woman. I never postpone joy.

if you press me to say why i loved him,

i can say no more than because he was he,

and i was i.

   -michel de montaigne 

       *quote compliments of the lovely wiley brunette

All you need is love.

Today is the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death. It is no secret to my friends and family that I love The Beatles... and John Lennon is my favorite. I love his songs about love and his feelings about peace. I love that he was willing to have a voice and stand up for what he knew was right. John Lennon was a peacemaker, a lover, an artist, a friend, a father, and a spiritual person. Today, I salute you, Mr. Lennon.


And, it has me thinking about one of my favorite John Lennon songs - all you need is love.

This past year, I had the pleasure of meeting someone that I love and respect. It's not until you find someone that you truly love when you can listen to these song lyrics and really know what these artists were thinking and feeling. I truly believe it to be true... all you need is love. Finding someone that you love, that believes in you, that stands by your side through it all, someone you can laugh and cry with, someone you can confide in, someone that listens to you, someone that you want to listen to (the sexy accent is an added bonus), someone that motivates you, someone that you'll never get tired of looking at, someone that you don't mind being next to for hours on end even when you're doing nothing at all... someone that has you truly convinced that the sun shines out his ass... well, that is really rare. How did I get so lucky?

When I look back on flings I had in high school and college and boys I spent nights crying over, I wonder, what for? I have wasted too much time in my life sweating the small stuff and crying over spilled milk... I don't want to waste another moment. I realized recently that there is no reason to ever go to bed angry or sad. That's how I want to live the rest of my life. I want my love to be by my side. I want to smile every morning. I want to smile every night. And, I want my love to do the same. I want to be a better me so that I can be better to the people that love me.

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it." - John Lennon