Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Sunday, April 22, 2012

things making me happy right now.

The original plan was for me to go home last Saturday, but life happens and things change and now I'm still in France. It is, of course, a disappointment for me as I was really excited to get home, but I will get back to the people and places I love soon enough. Until then, I need to remain positive! And, I'm doing that by savoring the little things that are making me happy right now!  :)
1. a homemade candlelit lunch for one with tabouli salad, ratatouille, and peppery tortilla chips
2. creating a little home gym for myself now that my insanely overpriced gym membership has ended (the gym was also disturbingly dusty)
3. the wonderful and luxe gift my guy gave me for no reason at all (well, I'm reason enough, aren't I?!!) - Guerlain face creams made with this amazing orchid that lives for something like 160 years so it fights anti-aging (but I'm still not sure if he was hinting that I'm getting wrinkles!? lol)
4. my amazing perfume that makes me smell and feel feminine and chic
5. uummmm socialized medicine!!! upon my last visit to the pharmacy, the lady bagged my stockpile of meds and said, "bonne journée," and I stood there dumbfounded and said, "c'est totalement gratuit? incroyable!" Then, I neatly arranged my treasures in a mason jar.
6. my not so beautiful but delicious first attempt at vegan cinnamon apple muffins (the trick - more applesauce, less vegan butter for a moist, yet healthy treat!) sorry, I know the word moist creeps a lot of people out. oops there I go again with it.

 


7. (not pictured because I'm not into that whole taking pictures of myself thing) something making me super happy: I had to buy new jeans and belts because my hard work is paying off!! :)

One thing not making me happy : this craptastic weather. I swear the ratio of crappy days to beautiful days here is not in favor of the latter. Boo! But, hiding out inside and listening to Ingrid Michaelson's soothing songs on repeat is a nice dose of wonderful.

Friday, February 10, 2012

material girl in a material world.

or maybe not... Sure, material things are nice. I always feel prettier going to work in a new outfit or having a new piece of jewelry and a hot pair of heels. But, how important are the material things to you? I'd be lying if I said these things don't matter to me. However, if I had the choice, I'd choose the alternative every time.

I would so much rather share a cup of tea and conversation with someone. I would choose a walk or an adventure. I would choose a road trip or a board game. I would choose a game of tennis or a run in the park. I would choose a home-cooked dinner and a wonderful movie. I would choose a good book. I think in these changing times we think everything has to cost money, but it doesn't. There is so much mother nature gives us for free.

So many people forget to stop and be thankful for all the things nature has to offer. They want more, more, more - material things. Too many people are greedy and money hungry, and when they are like this, they miss out on more important things in life. Maybe the things people need are sitting right in front of them, and they are too stupid to see. They want the finer things in life. People have different priorities, I see that, I know that. When will enough be enough?

Change scenery. See the world. Dream big. Love deeply. Be generous. When you hug someone, always let them be the first to let go. But, don't always think that the things you need cost money or the thing that will make you the happiest is having money. I think the less money you have the more appreciative you are. Money makes things easier, of course. There is less stress, but that doesn't mean you have to throw it all away. Look in front of you. While you are searching for the finer things, you are losing out on what matters most.

What are the most important things to you? Would you choose love or money? Would you choose material things or intangible things?

What I'm listening to:
P.S. Isn't Friday the best day!? I'm always happier on Fridays! 


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

instant pleasure

Coming to France has been such a life-changing event. When people ask my parents, "Why is she in France?" And they say, "Chasing a boy." It's irritating to me. Sure, I came here because of someone, but to me, it was more than that. It was the hope of something new - a chance at a better credit score ;) kidding (a little!). Really though, I just wanted to see life on the other side. What would it be like to live in a strange place? What would it be like to be forced to speak another language? What would it be like to be immersed into a new, different culture. So here I am figuring that all out. Did I come here with someone? Yes, yes I did. However, if I was chasing anything, I'd say it was a dream. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet in any situation, in any place, and maybe even with anyone. "Chasing someone" or chasing something... I guess you can interpret it how you'd like, because even I'm never sure.

Everyday brings a new dream for me. I'm the girl that changed her major five times in college - nutrition, communications, education, landscape architecture, then finally HRIM (hotel, restaurant and institutional management) - and my final decision actually ended up being closely tied with where I started. What does that tell me? In time, all things come back around? I don't know. I'm just following the road of life, and I seem to swerve a lot and hit a lot of things (not so far from my actual driving skills) but in the end, I'll reach my destination, right?

Life is full of so many emotions and sometimes it seems more than I can bare (anyone that knows me knows I am a big crybaby). I just want to believe that there is some purpose for everyone. That it will one day be clear to me what my purpose is. I'm not content with just being. I never thought I'd be the person to have a job that I go to that sucks the life out of me. I want a job that fulfills me. I want to be fulfilled. I know, deep down, that when I find what fulfills me, I will understand my purpose. I know that what fulfills me will be something that will leave other people fulfilled. We all want to be needed. I want to be someone that someone else needs, wants, desires. I mean... like a person so badly wants to read a good book, eat at a good restaurant, look at beautiful pictures, watch a good movie, be entertained at an amazing event, see an awesome concert... I want to entertain fantasies... What fulfills you?

Maybe, as people can so easily criticize, maybe I want too much. Maybe I am asking for too much. Maybe I am impossible to satisfy. Maybe I am difficult and emotional and always searching for more. But what would the contrary be like? I cannot imagine being okay with the mundane. I much prefer to entertain my wildest fantasies, to reach for things beyond my reach, to dream within a dream. I don't think I will ever be okay with staying in one place and doing the same thing and living the same dream. I crave change and movement and new things. I want to see new faces. Routine scares me. Every time I get into a routine, I want to run. I envy people in their quiet nests with their ducks all in a row, it must be nice, but oh how bored I would be.

And so, I've reached that point yet again. I'm here. I need to dive into something new. I'm stir crazy. I'm anxious. I'm bored to tears. I'm pacing. I'm thinking. I'm searching. I'm complaining. I'm hashing and rehashing. I'm dreaming. I'm trying to find something to capture my attention. What is it? What is it that I'm searching for? How do I know? When will I know? Where is it I need to be? What is it I need to do? These white walls are so confining. I want to burst out of here.

Ehhh maybe it's just the cold weather. What do I know. The only thing I do know is this town really sucks. I look at the faces of people here and think, what kind of creatures are you? It's a robotic, simple life. It's small and people are narrow-minded. Everyone with their cigarettes and their baguettes and their dogs shitting all over the streets. Little robots. How can people live in a place like this? You have to drive to find grass. Even in NYC, there is a massive park wedged between buildings of overwhelming size. In little Belfort, dogs shit on the street because they don't have grass. I understand now why places like this have crime and prostitutes, well golly, what the heck else is there to do?

Huh, I've got to go. I'm bored just writing this. Are you bored reading this? Are you still there!? Ha!

Here's what I'm listening to right now: *a song less about sex and more about finding pleasure!
(the best line: you in the traffic for all eternity, how can that speed be where you want to be?)

Monday, October 3, 2011

a new perspective.

I think something we all need to consider is perspective. Life is all about the way you look at things, and this fact has the ability to shape your entire life. The past, present, and future. It is one of those glass half full theories. I can look back at pieces of my life and have regrets or have flashbacks of paralyzing memories or I can take the high road and consider something hard to come to terms with... maybe everything does happen for a reason. I need to truly, wholeheartedly believe this. There is an Arabic word - mektoub - which simply, eloquently means 'it is written,' so maybe each and every moment, the good and the bad were written, predetermined for us. I now have a new perspective - and can I tell you how incredibly wonderful and life changing it is?

For example, instead of looking at my new "city" as one that doesn't compare to home and to the hustle and bustle of NYC, I've learned to love it for its simplicity, its quiet streets, and its amazing history. I finally see it as a beautiful place. Honestly, it is like I have been given a new set of eyes (thankfully, still blue!). With a little bit of perspective, I am able to see this place in a whole new light. I don't want to stop taking pictures. I want to capture this wonderful city in daylight and at dusk. I want to capture the changing colors as autumn unfolds. I just want to enjoy every beautiful moment. How many people can say they have a huge fort in the middle of their city!?

And, this theory pertains to everything in life - friendships, relationships, why I picked the university I picked, why I chose the career I chose, and even why I decided to come to France - it was all written. Knowing that I can't change anything gives me more strength to enjoy and to live in the moment. It gives me more strength to be the person I know I am meant to be. What is meant to happen will happen, and I can't stop missing out on wonderful moments because I'm too busy analyzing the past or stressing over which path is the next one to take. It's like my life is a fantastic, wild ride down the Amazon. I will hit some bumps, my boat may flip over, it won't always be glamorous, but I will get back in and keep trekking down that river.

I am enjoying the ride. Are you?

Pictures from my weekend (in my fabulous city!!!):



Monday, September 19, 2011

life or something like it.

Monday came so quickly, but I don't mind. The week days are really the only days I get to socialize with people. Plus, I like what I do. Really, I get paid to have conversations with all different kinds of people. Sometimes, of course, I need to throw in some lessons about verbs and adverbs, but even that knowledge has slowly crept back into my repertoire. Some people have fascinating jobs, and I can just sit and listen to them talk about it for our whole session, usually losing track of time. I correct some errors with pronunciation or when they forget their irregulars verbs. I help when they can't find the right word. They eagerly write it down, repeating it and repeating it, intent on adding it to their growing English vocabulary. Others don't want to speak of work and would rather tell me about the fabulous places they have traveled, both for work and pleasure, and I sit there with my jaw dropped, lusting over one day getting to see these places. There are times when they tell me so much information that I know the inner-workings of their company. I know about the problems they have with employees. I know when someone will be fired before they do. There are a few that use me as their psychologist, explaining the issues they have with work-life balance or asking me how they should deal with an issue with their wife. I have many that enjoy talking about politics, others seem to have no clue what is going on around them. They help me to adapt to the culture by telling me the way they do things, events happening in the area, and together we compare life in our two very different countries.

I am truly blessed to have a job that stimulates my mind. I am truly blessed to have students that are eager to learn. Without a doubt, there are a select few that want to only speak French, don't study their English, and are there because their company is paying them to be there. It can be frustrating, but in time, they, too, will progress. I just want every student to get something out of being a student of mine. I want everyone's English to improve, no matter what their level. I think the hardest part about learning a language is finding the confidence to speak it. Just because you know the words doesn't mean you feel confident enough in the way you pronounce them to try to say them. Without gaining this confidence, there is no chance to practice and to progress. This is something I, myself, have trouble with but like all things, time will tell.

The brisk fall weather has finally started to grace us with its presence here. I am pulling out last year's sweaters and bundling up. I'm back to wearing scarves. I need to go into my storage in the basement and bring up the rest of my sweaters, scarves, and perhaps most essential to me now, my cold weather shoes! My little ballet flats and summery heels are cold. With this weather has come rain, and it's that cold kind of rain that leaves you feeling so raw. There's something about this kind of weather that makes me want to wear stylish layers and a little bit extra make-up. Summer always involves light clothing, naturally bronzed skin, barely-there make-up, and casual hair. When falls comes, I want to be more creative with my look and feel fashion-forward (if it's possible)!

This year my guy and I have a big goal - paying back our college loans. We want to use our extra money to get those out of the way, rather than buying new clothes or traveling. We both love having new things and feeling stylish so this isn't easy for us. As I pass by the windows and see beautiful clothing with styles so fresh, I am craving some new pieces. My shoes from last year look worn and tired, but it's ok. I went through my clothes yesterday. I reorganized everything. Sometimes when you do that, you realize how much you do have; and don't take pity on my lack of buying, because I certainly don't have a lack of clothing. In fact, I have so much that my only real problem is where to put everything.

I decided I can still wear some of my summer dresses if I wear them with a blazer and tights. I can pair things in new ways. AND, a huge help to me right now is that I can wear jeans to work. I absolutely love this. My last job had me dressing like a grandma. I wasn't allowed to wear heels as my office was in a kitchen. It makes it so much easier when I can wear casual clothing. Of course, I can dress up when I want, but it's so much more fun to be in jeans and heels than trousers, button-ups, and flats (plus, I don't have to iron everyday!).

All in all, life is good (a bit lonely at times) but things are definitely looking up. I went out for coffee with my first French friend last Thursday night. We talked - sometimes in French, sometimes in English - for hours. We had so much to say, so much to learn about each other. We joked. We talked about serious things. We talked about our families and our guys. We talked about traveling. Heck, we talked about everything, and it was so nice. We scheduled our Thursday nights as a new, permanent date night (both adding this to our agendas immediately which I found to be funny - sitting in a restaurant with our agendas tucked in our purses). It is such a relief to have a friend here. I was beginning to lose hope!

I am looking forward to this week. As inspired by other bloggers, I am going to make a new goal each week. This week's goal is to exercise daily. I know it's something that makes me happy. I am always happy when I feel good about my body.

Have a nice week everyone. Will you take this challenge and make a new goal each week with me?

Friday, April 15, 2011

carpe diem.

My favorite little phrase has been carpe diem for as long as I can remember. However, for as much as I say it and think it, I don't live by these words enough... Sieze the day. This will be my mantra.

Many of my favorite bloggers have been posting about their goals for the Spring as seen here, and I think I'd like to do the same. How can I really live by the phrase carpe diem? What do I want? Well, here's what I came up with.



My Goals (in no special order of importance):

~run everyday (even if it's just a mile)

~start doing sit-ups and pilates 3x a week

~be more patient

~take some time for me at the end of the day to do important things like flossing and moisturizing (this is the only body I'm going to have so I should respect it more!)

~turn off electronic devices and store them under the bed after 10pm

~become fluent in French

~become more informed: read the newspaper everyday from front to back and watch the news (in French!)

~read more

~pray more

~find a new hobby

~resume old hobbies like playing soccer, basetball or tennis... anything to get outside more often

~communicate through handwritten letters and postcards once a week (too much of my across the Atlantic communication is through Facebook and e-mail)

~travel as much as possible

~drink a green monster shake 3-5 times per week!

~as always, drink more water! (I am ALWAYS saying, I'm thirsty but never doing anything about it!)

~and this one I kind of loathe - but... ughhhh incorporate some chicken into my diet (more on my 16 years of vegetarianism in another post!)

~be more appreciative of the little things in life


**Share with me any of your goals for the Spring or for your life, in general. It can be super inspiring to know what other people value/what other's goals are.

And, of course, have a fabulous weekend! My French family is visiting and I'm excited!

           xx Kay

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tour de France: Mulhouse

Saturday afternoon my love and I took a short road trip to nearby Mulhouse. The downtown area not only has Zara, H&M, traditional French stores, but it also has 2 Subways!! Unfortunately, we had just eaten lunch followed by delicious Belgian waffles (mine with chocolate chips inside and his with Nutella on top) so we didn't get Subway. However, now that I know where to find a Subway and that I can hit Zara while I'm there, I'll definitely be back to Mulhouse very soon!

The sun was shining and the downtown was full of Spring-hopefuls like myself (although our actual reason for traveling to Mulhouse was to find me a warmer jacket!! :( booo!)

It was a very nice day, and I look forward to many more just like that (especially when I get gifts!!!). Kidding! Seriously though, being alone together is a gift in itself! I do enjoy all the time we have been spending with his family. Everyone is so nice to me, and I love getting to know them but I feel like our time together... alone... is very limited. I guess what is better about living this way is that we really get a chance to cherish the few moments we have alone together. We are more in love than ever these days. Sometimes I need to pinch myself! My heart is full, and I am happy.




before purchasing the warmer jacket - in my Zara Spring jacket that I just love!

me in my warmer jacket!