checking in... again.

I know, I know... I have been a terrible blogger lately, but let me assure you that I have good reason. While I haven't been blogging, I have been living!

I started this blog as a way to keep in touch with my family and friends back in the states while I was abroad. Now that I have been back in the states, I have really been checking things off my to-do list! And, for once, besides a few mundane tasks like going to the DMV and getting my Visa taken care of, the things on my to-do list have been FUN! They range from shopping to seeing friends to spending a whole day on the beach. And, even the not so fun tasks like going to the DMV became not so lame when we combined it with a day in the city.

The first day I went for my Visa, I drove into the city with my Mom. She waited while I went in the consulate and after we had lunch in Chelsea and just hung out together! The second time I went back for the Visa, I took the bus into the city, enjoyed a day of sight seeing, and met a very dear friend for a dinner date at Cafeteria followed by some iced lattes and a lot of conversation. I felt so refreshed after seeing her. She is such a kind, loving, beautiful person both inside and out. I missed her!

Life has been so enjoyable. Almost a month has gone by now of me prancing around New Jersey and NYC. There haven't been too many dull moments - family visiting, friends visiting, meeting up with friends, shopping, a lot of exercising, and trying to make it to all my favorite restaurants.

Being home is surely a vacation. I love the walks with my Mom, the dinner dates with my parents, seeing my best friends, days at the beach, reading good books, driving my car with the windows down, and soaking in the sweet summer sun. There is something relaxing about being here (that something is that my Dad doesn't work in the summer, my Mom is retired, and I am currently retired, too!). It's nice to not have to rush anywhere. It's nice to have no where to go and to fly by the seat of your pants.

Of course, the longer I am here, the more my heart aches for the guy waiting for me back in France. And, although I have truly loved every minute here, I am anxious to see him. One more week here in NJ and I'll be back. The only thing I can do to pass the time is ENJOY EACH MOMENT!! That's exactly what I intend to do. On that note, I'm off to read a book and sit in the sun.

Seaside Park, NJ

dinner on the Toms River

the steps of Madison Square Garden

dinner on the Point Pleasant beach

the show we saw on Broadway

family and friends.

Sometimes life can get you down. Whether the down be a terrible boss, a heartless thief, or anyone in between, you're bound to encounter these people from time to time. There will be people in your life that just don't belong - people that will cause you heartache and pain. When those people come into your life, the best thing you can do is cling to the people that deserve to be there. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out who these people are, but that's what life is all about. It's full of unanswered questions, nerve-wrecking decisions, and spontaneous moments. And, sometimes friendships are like that, too.

In the past year or so, I've lost friends that I thought I'd have in my life forever, and I've gained back ones I'd thought I'd lost forever. And, of course, I've met new people along the way. It just goes to show you that you never know how things will turn out. Life is a game of chance. Sometimes that's exciting and fun, other times it's heart-breaking.

I think too often in my life I've tied myself down to people; and in retrospect, I gave so much more than I ever got back. Isn't it more important to have a few amazing people in your life rather than a bunch of people that don't really care about you? I want to surround myself with people that genuinely care about me.

It's insecure people that surround themselves with people that don't really care about them because these people don't think they deserve better. I don't want to be someone like that. I have too big of a heart for that.

I'm thinking so much about this because I had such a remarkable week. I spent time with people that I know care more about me than they dare to admit. These people that have seen me at my best and at my worst - but have never judged me. It is so wonderful to be around people that are wonderful, because sometimes I need to be reminded that I, too, am wonderful.

Family and friends. Friends and family. When all else is the world fails me, I know I won't be alone; and that is a good feeling. It gives me the courage to be who I want to be, to dream as big as I want, to take risks, and to live life to the fullest.

I am full. My heart is happy.

Whole wheat everything bagels are my favorite way to start my morning and that's exactly how I've been doing it since being back in NJ. Nothing beats that!

What else have I been doing? Well, mostly, spending time with my Momma! We've been doing everything together, and I absolutely love these moments. We shop until we drop, eat at our favorite restaurants, go for walks, play games, and watch trashy television. My dad is in Brazil and Columbia for the next week or so and we're taking advantage of the ladies time.

This week I have a lot to look forward to and I'm really happy for that. I want to make sure to take advantage of my time here. Tomorrow I'm going to have dinner with a dear friend. My sister's birthday is this Wednesday so we'll take her for a nice dinner date and have family over. My mom's brother is coming to visit from Seattle. My friends are coming to visit from Pennsylvania. We have a family party on Sunday at our state's capital. Monday I'll be in NYC.

I have phone calls to make and doctors to see, but mostly, I just want to enjoy the beauty that is my home. I want to take full advantage of the fact that we live by the beach. I want to wake up early and run on the boardwalk. I want to swim in the pool and the ocean. I want to ride bikes. I want to soak up the sunshine, read good books, and of course, do more shopping!

So forgive me if I continue to be MIA for a while longer, but I want to enjoy these moments I have here with my family - in the house I grew up in - and that means doing my best to keep off my computer (except to g-chat with my favorite European guy back across the pond).

home.

I arrived home Wednesday night after a very long day of traveling. My parents and my aunt picked me up at the airport in NYC. After, my sister met us at our favorite restaurant in town, a place where we always see people we know. I was greeted by an old friend who immediately said, "Hey, aren't you supposed to be in France?" Followed by, "We were just talking about you last weekend."

It's nice to be home and to see familiar faces. I love that I can call the people I want to call without even looking at the phone because they are numbers I have dialed so many times before. It's so much better than using Skype and talking through the computer. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for modern technology. I love that I can video chat with my family and friends; but it's nice to pick up the phone and do it the old-fashioned way.

I really do have the best home. We're an hour from NYC, 45 minutes from Atlantic City, an hour and 15 minutes from Philadelphia, but even better than all that - we're 5 minutes from the beach. There is something truly unique about growing up by the beach (oh, and truly wonderful!).

Plus, who wouldn't want to live somewhere where delicious bagels are plentiful!? I, of course, had my first whole wheat everything bagel yesterday morning. I got to sit with my mom and eat our bagels and strawberries and enjoy conversation over that (yes, weak) American coffee that takes me 30 minutes to finish sipping. 

My mom, sister, and I then went for a nice walk at the beach. The sun was so hot - reaching over 100 degrees (38 C). I put my feet in the Atlantic Ocean for the first time since September. We looked at the amazing beach front homes and gossiped about the crazy Facebook statuses people put up (among other things).

My mom took me to the Olive Garden for lunch! We love their all you can eat soup and salad. Yummy! Don't make fun of me. I know the soup comes in a plastic bag. I know it's not made fresh on premises. However, I do know that they work really hard to get their flavors right (because they have an expensive food lab at Penn State where they were constantly perfecting their tastes, textures, visual appearance, etc.). They now offer flatbread as an add-on and my mom and I had the caprese flatbread. It was a little too salty but still delicious. We ordered fancy lemonades, too.

We then engaged in a marathon day of shopping! I went to the dentist. We went out to dinner and had delicious Italian food. We came home, sat on the couch, and were asleep by 9pm! We had intended to watch a movie but last night delivered a crazy storm that showcased powerful thunder, loud cracks of lightning, and a power outage that left us movie-less.

It was such a wonderful day, my first one home.

a new language.

A huge part of the challenge of living in France has been learning a new language. I imagined it would be easier once I was actually living here. However, after speaking with my uncle yesterday (a man fluent in some seven languages), I realized that unless I fully embrace the challenge and totally immerse myself into the French lifestyle, I will never (or it will take forever) to become fluent.

I have started to lose hope. Why can't I become fluent overnight? What is taking so long? I have even started daydreaming of this chip they can implant in your brain - like shopping at Best Buy.

"Welcome to Best Buy. How can I help you?"
"Hi. I'd like one French chip and one Arabic, please."
"May I get you anything else?"
"No, that will be all. Thank you."

Then, I go home and hook a USB cable up from me to my computer, and voila! I'm trilingual.

However, the reality is becoming fluent in a new language takes work... a lot of it. I've been taking my 10 hours a week with a tutor. I've been speaking French with my French family. Have I truly overextended myself? The answer is NO! I often find I'm nervous to speak French with people because I'm afraid to make mistakes. My guy and I almost always speak English with each other. He works a lot and when he gets home late and he's tired, we want to have an easy conversation. That's not going to help me though!

My uncle gave me his 3 tips to becoming fluent fast and I intend to practice these when I return to France but will start while I am home in the States.

My Uncle's tips to learning a new language:

1. Create a vocab list and carry it everywhere
  --> Write down all the words you know on a list and every time you're sitting on a train or have a few minutes, take that list out and study it, review it. Do this frequently. Add words as you know more.
         --> My teacher suggested I elaborate on this a bit and get two little repertoires - in one, write all the vocab words I know. In the second, write all the verbs I know.

2. Subscribe to a French newspaper and read it daily.
   --> He said that this won't be easy at first, but it is something he practiced. In the beginning, I will be looking up every word (I've started this and can attest that this is very true). It is very frustrating but will help so much!

3. Find a French television program, an emotional one.
    --> My Uncle said that finding a show that I like and getting hooked is a great way to learn. He said that an emotional show is perfect, because although I won't be able to understand all the words, the body language will help with comprehension.

I'll keep you updated on my progress! I need to practice while I am in the States. I don't want to forget everything I've learned! I am going to prepare my little repertoires while I am sitting by the beach.

i'm coming home

It's true. My 90 days as a tourist in Europe have come to an end. I feel like it flew by, but some days felt like they'd never end. I transitioned from a job where I worked a lot and commuted, too, to not working at all. I transitioned from talking to my friends during my commute to having a 6 (and 7) hour time difference so we've had to make "chat appointments." I transitioned from seeing my family all the time to obviously not seeing them at all (although it was a nice break from life here to visit my aunt and uncle in Italy).

Can I say that I am relieved to go home? Yes. I miss so many things about home. My heart aches for the comforts of home. I also can't wait to eat at my favorite restaurants (first stop: Office Lounge!!) and to see my best friends.

But does it mean I'm willing to give up on my life here? I don't think so. Everything here is new to me. Every route I run is new. Every person I meet is new. My future job is going to be something totally different than what I was doing in NY and NJ. There's something exciting (and scary) about all this newness. And, I know that no matter where I am, my friends are family will always be a part of me.

The bottom line is: I know that no matter where I am, I can find happiness in my life. And, that's exactly what I am after.

new post #good feeling

Strasbourg

the beautiful cathedral in Strasbourg

Belfort

It's true. I love clicking that "New Post" button. Often times, I have posts pre-written in my G-mail drafts waiting in the queue for their moment to be the "New Post." However, that just isn't the case anymore! I've been so busy. I realize I have been noticeably absent (or not so much if you're not an avid reader) from this blog, but I tell ya, sometimes life just happens along so quickly.

I spent a week in Italy, came back to France to an apartment that I had only lived in for 2 days prior to my trip to Italy (and an apartment in which I left a man alone in for a week) so there was a lot to do, I still had 10 hours of French class that week, and then my friends were visiting for 4 days. I'm not complaining because everything has been wonderful, but I went from doing almost nothing to having so much to do. And, I almost can't believe it, but I'm returning to NJ in less than a week.

I think having so much going on is such a nice reminder of how blessed I am. I love traveling. I love my French class and my tutor. I love all the little moments here in France (like when I can carry on a conversation). I love our little apartment. I love that my future has so many paths for me to choose and that I can take this time while I am learning the language to really explore what it is that I want to do when I "grow up."

Of course, life can be frustrating in a new country with a different culture. I'm not used to all this kissing. I seem rude to people. I feel so American. I am always telling my guy, "They're looking at me. They know I'm American." I'm sure it is not the case, but I do feel like an outsider sometimes.

I think all we can do is live everyday for what is is... a new day, a new experience. The future is wide open. Who says it's too late to try something new? I am sitting here listening to French music, cooking my haricots verts, du poisson et des pommes de terre aux herbes de provence (I'm so French!!!) and so at peace with the changes that life brings. Each new day is a new test and a new chance to change your attitude and live it like it's your last. I like that.