don't postpone joy.

Yesterday, as I was driving home from work, I started thinking about my life. I make it seem so horrible when I write on my blog, don't I? Don't get me wrong... some days stink. Isn't that normal though? Life is full of its ups and downs. Life is a rollercoaster, of course. The expression stands true. However, sometimes I think I have more to say when I'm upset/when I'm having a bad day. I have a bad temper and being upset fuels my creativity??? Maybe! I'm not sure about that, but I do know that I am the kind of person that deals with a problem by (excuse the language) talking the crap out of it.

There are some people that like to be alone when they are upset. They don't want to talk about it. They go into a room, close the door, put some headphones on and DO NOT (under any circumstances) want to be bothered. I can't relate to this at all. I'm the girl knocking on the door saying, "Let's talk about it. Are you okay?" For this type of personality, it is not only annoying but almost an invasion of privacy. I don't know what it is that they do - maybe write in a journal or just think or sleep it off... not sure, because as I said, I don't get it.

I want to understand the situation. I want to ask a million questions or analyze every angle. I want to pour my heart out, cry a river, do some research on the internet, ask more questions, call some people to talk some more and get outside opinions, call some more people, write on my blog, send some e-mails asking more opinions, drink some tea, eat some chocolate, and then take a shower. Once I'm in the shower, (sigh of relief) I have finally come to terms with the argument.

I am the kind of person that meets someone and immediately comes home to do a Google search. I don't take things lightly. I am super (can I stress the super here?) sensitive. I have a hard time forgetting but am always very forgiving. I am hard on myself and hard on other people, too. I have a very big heart and expect a lot of people, because I know what I would do for them. I am the annoying person when watching a movie or a TV show that has to try to predict what is going to happen. However, I am also the person that in that same movie theater is laughing the loudest.

I was raised by a woman that didn't do anything half-ass. She is someone that is so wonderful at celebrating the little joys in life. She would celebrate anything she could celebrate. "Congrats on your presentation!" "Your first goal!" "Your second goal!" "Your third goal!" ...and so on. Perhaps it is why I require so much recognition for a job well done now. When I make a good meal, I want to hear some praise. When I'm at work, I want to hear my boss saying I'm doing a good job. When I clean the apartment, I want my guy to come home and notice. Because with my Mom, nothing ever went unnoticed. Everything from a new haircut to a birthday was a big deal in our house. A day never passed by without kind words or a celebration from my Mom.

I think she has created such a high standard. When I had my first day of work here in France, honestly, I expected my guy to give me a little celebration. OK, I'm 25 and maybe I should grow out of this, but I love celebrating life's little moments. And, I am so thankful to have been raised by someone who made me think the sun was shining out my ass. Life is so precious, so why not celebrate it with the ones we love? My Mom could be a spokeswoman for unconditional love.

So in the end, what I am trying to say is... I am very lucky. Perhaps I write more about the bad days, but maybe it's because on the good days, I am far too busy relishing all the happiness to find time for words. I am loved. I am living in a wonderful city in FRANCE! I am an educated woman. I never postpone joy.