amsterdam.

view from hotel window

all the bikes from the hotel window

see my excitement upon finding this place in the video below

Two weekends ago we spent our weekend in Amsterdam. It was a short, spontaneous trip. My guy was going there on business starting that Sunday and Friday night he suggested I come a day early (the following day) so I could meet his friend, see the city, and spend a night out dancing our butts off. And, so that's what we did. We arrived Saturday evening. I met his very nice friend (whose English had a very wonderful Croatian accent). We stayed out until the wee hours of the morning - because, well, why not? Sunday we enjoyed an Asian food festival and had one too many (or not) veggie spring rolls. We had to, of course, go to a French fry place and eat French fries smothered in ketchup (although there were about 20 different toppings to choose from). We walked all around the city - Bopping in and out of shops, looking at old buildings, marveling at bikers and houseboats aplenty, and paying 1€ to use the 'loo' all the while. We ate at a delicious Thai restaurant for dinner (SOOO good!). Then, Monday morning I was on the first flight back to France. Boo!

The nice thing about Amsterdam is that almost everyone speaks English. It made things very easy for us English-speakers. There are so many tourists in Amsterdam, but luckily, my guy had studied in Holland while in University so he knew a little bit about the city to help us steer clear of too much touristy stuff. 

I first went to Amsterdam in 2005 with my sister. We did the whole hostel, meeting people, being young thing. It was so much fun. We went to coffee shops. I ate space cake which was a big thing for me as I was a vegan. I figured, when in Amsterdam, eat space cake. We went to the Anne Frank house which was so so so moving and something I would love to do every time I am in Amsterdam. Our youthful trip was wonderful and fun (and a trip to remember!), but it is always a different experience doing things with someone new. It is nice to walk through a strange city, seeing new things, and holding the hand of someone you adore. I enjoy that... a lot. I don't think I will ever tire of walking through strange cities and seeing new things and holding the hand of that someone I adore. ....as long as life is always as spontaneous and bizarre as it is now. Because, as I have said before, I bore easily.

Video below makes clear two things. The first is that I love Asian food. The second is that I am a pig! 

a beautiful life.

my life has been consumed by watching reruns of felicity on the internet, writing lesson plans, teaching english classes, making new friends, and wasting time in between all of that.

needless to say, my house has been a complete mess. for the first time in a long time (since college), i don't even mind. okay, well, i didn't mind until tonight when i realized, it's getting out of hand. but back to when i didn't mind... although i love nothing more (i'm not exaggerating when i say this) than clean sheets, i went a few extra days. although i love clean floors, i think it's been over a week since i mopped them. i love when everything is in its place and organized and when i can't see dust on the light switches. i love when my cords are tightly wrapped around the appliances not in use and when my makeup is neatly lined up in its drawer. i love when i have 5 clean dish towels for backup. i love when the laundry basket isn't more than half full.

lately, i haven't cared. i want to come home, turn the lights off, light my candles, eat dark chocolate, and relax in front of a show that fills me up with hope. it makes me smile and cry. it just makes me feel good. this may seem really strange, but sometimes we need to laugh and cry and be filled with hope - no matter what it is that brings us to these emotions. sometimes we need to see the light. sometimes we need to know that we're not alone - we're not the only ones scared, worried, filled with doubt, and dreaming.

it's like that quote... the famous one from john lennon... "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." and, it's so true.

i spend so much time setting expectations and trying to meet deadlines and worrying about where my life is going and what my future has in store for me that i don't take the time to just be me. i need to stop thinking - not only about the future but about the past. actually, the past more so than the future. i need to let go. i spend so much time being angry about the past and worried about the future that i make the here and now really crappy.

i'm living in france! i live in a town that may be quieter than i am used to but it's colorful and romantic. it has history. why can't i just be happy with that? i am too busy complaining about the lack of starbucks to be happy with the delicious bakeries and the pedestrian-filled streets, and the great fortress that sits in the middle of the town. it really is incredible.

so who cares if my laundry basket is overflowing. i am living and feeling. i am so in love. i am so lucky in love. yes, he has hurt me. but i need to finally forgive and forget and move on. it seems silly but when i look at my guy (even when i am mad or pretending to be mad), i just want to hug him and get lost in his love. i know that i mean the world to him and he means the world to me.

from this moment, i am opening my eyes. i am seeing the world. i have a lot to do. i have a lot to see. i'm just getting started. and, my very best friend will be there with me.

oh, and my very best girl friend (!!!!!) asked me yesterday to be her maid of honor. so i'm just full of love. she, too, means the world to me.

i guess i really am lucky in love. sometimes in relationships going through hell isn't so bad if you come out of it a little stronger. and, i never was one for boring relationships.

tonight i've turned off felicity, turned on some beautiful music, lit my candles, and i will get this place together. and, when my guy comes home, i will tell him just how much he means to me.

MacBook Pro and its Cons.

I love my MacBook Pro. It seriously rocks. I take it everywhere with me. It's fast. It's user-friendly (once you get the hang of it). I don't have to worry about viruses like I did with my Dell. In college, I think I spent more time waiting for my computer to be fixed and dealing with computer issues than I did actually using my computer. That is no longer my issue now that I made the switch to a Mac. However, that has started a whole new issue for me...

My love and I both love our MacBooks. A traditional weeknight or weekend morning consists of us sitting on our separate MacBooks, sometimes with our headphones on. We like to catch up on our shows, watch the news, and watch clips of videos that interest us. We usually each have one hand on our MacBook and we hold hands with the free hand. So, it's not totally without affection that we're in bed like this, but it's starting to get on my nerves. If we don't both have our computers, then it's one computer between the two of us, and we're searching the Internet or watching TV together. Why is it that we automatically bring our computers to bed with us? I'm kind of missing those massive desktops we had in the past!

I think in the past, people went to bed with their books and newspapers, and now modern technology is changing this picture and it's Nooks, iPads, and laptops. Call me a hopeless romantic but after a long day of sitting in front of a computer, why do we spend our time together in front of our computers? I would love to come home and talk or cuddle or watch a movie on the television. It has become instinctive for us to take our computers to bed, and I want it to stop! I think I will make a rule - no computers after 10pm.

Does anyone else have this problem?

                                           P.S. Darling, I'm serious about this rule.