I'm in a good mood so this blog is in no way a rant; it is really just a compilation of some observations I have made recently.
Have you ever noticed that things happen in a sort of domino effect or in a sequence...?
People's actions have direct results on other people's actions whether they meant for them to or not.
For example:
When one person parks like a pig (read: asshole), it forces everyone else to park like a pig. You can never really decipher who the first pig was, but then, if all the other people clear out and you're the only car left, you're the one that looks like the pig. There is a
Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this and it cracks me up, because who wants to be the one that looks like the "pig parker" (as Larry David calls it) when it was just some other idiot that 1. doesn't know how to park or 2. is just a selfish, careless, oblivious "pig parker".
The next thing that happens in a domino effect is urinating on the toilet seat. For men, this isn't necessarily an issue because you don't need to get your junk in a close enough range to the bowl for this to be relevant, but for women, man this is just annoying. So one snot-nose (for lack of better words) comes up and squats and leaves her business all over the seat and then the next person thinks they can squat a little higher with no regard to aim and do the same. By the time the tenth person gets in there (odds are - C'est MOI!!), the original snot-nose's urine is dried up and you can't even clean it up if you want to and you have to squat so far away to avoid the puddle of urine from shooting back up at you. Hasn't anyone heard the good old sayings "Please be a sweetie and wipe the seatie" or "Please be neat and wipe the seat"? (If I may add one more bathroom domino effect issue that drives me crazy, it's when someone finishes the toilet paper roll and doesn't replace it. Then, the next person is stuck drip drying - or worse, if it's out the other end.)
The next thing is when people park their car somewhere and put their flashers on... I believe these lights are actually called your hazard lights. They are meant to be used to signal a warning for something.. uum hazardous. When did they become the lights you use when you 1. are too lazy to park somewhere farther away and walk 2. "are just going inside for a minute" "you'll be really quick" 3. don't want to pay for parking and/or 4. are waiting for someone..? Once one person does this, everyone else follows suit. The next thing you know there is a traffic jam of people sitting there with their flashers on and I'm always the idiot sitting in the back of this pile with my flashers on thinking there is an actual hazard up ahead, rather than the reality of the situation which is usually that people are just going in to buy cigarettes. People who need to buy cigarettes need to park closely because their lungs won't tolerate the walk from the parking space to the cash register... is that the excuse? I'm just curious when it started that the flashers became the symbol not for an actual emergency but for a pit stop. When one person throws on the flashers, everyone else is relieved they don't have to be the ringleader and that it is "ok" to park it right there, in the middle of the road. So, in essence, they are causing the hazard with their hazard lights.
The next thing is not necessarily a domino effect but causes a number of people to have to worry and check themselves which is sort of a domino effect. I was recently in a classroom with about twenty other people and someone was sporting some God awful stinky feet. I was feeling super insecure for the whole afternoon. I was kind of leaning forward and sticking my head between my knees and trying to get a whiff of my shoes. Then, I was examining each person around me and trying to determine who the culprit was. Maybe I'm just crazy but I don't think I could have been the only person trying to figure out if they were the cause of this stench. Not only does everyone have to be subjected to this unpleasantness, but you're left having a panic attack wondering if this could possibly be you. I couldn't concentrate on anything but thinking about if I showered, if I had previously worn the shoes without socks, or even if I'm that person in general - do my shoes normally smell? Am I the smelly kid!? (The end result is that my shoes and feet didn't stink at all, but it still gave me anxiety for a whole afternoon).
Now the above scenario refers to all unnecessary smells. Another solid example would be, of course, you guessed it... body odor. The great BO! Come on now... you don't even have to shower. Take a Puerto Rican shower - ya know, put some soap on a wash cloth and scrub the pits. After, apply deodorant. Repeat as many times as needed. BO is just incredible and incredibly obnoxious. Sometimes it really does take my breath away. Not to say we don't have some ripe armpits aux Etats-Unis but French people specialize in this art form much the same as they do in making delicious bread. I guess you take the pros with the cons. But thinking about a stinky baker almost (just almost) makes me not want to eat the bread!
Dog poop on the street. This has quickly become one of the biggest annoyances for me here. The streets are land mines. Wikipedia informed me that the definition of a land mine is:
an explosive device, concealed under or on the
ground and designed to destroy or disable enemy targets as they pass
over or near the device. So, yeah, I think doggie doo doo plops accurately into that definition. The domino effect here is that once one person doesn't pick up after their dog, every other person says, "Why should I if he didn't?" Thus, land mines. You literally need to walk looking down. New York streets are littered with garbage and French streets with actual shit.
In an effort to keep my brain from exploding with more domino effect scenarios, I think that's all. This is my first blog in a month. Partially because I don't have much to
say and also because I'm just living and sometimes it isn't fun to stop
and smell the roses :)
The days are flying by, and it
seems like just yesterday I was ringing in the New Year with my family
in NJ and shortly after enjoying the Florida sun with my Mom. When did
it get to be April!? Sometimes I can't keep up!
This
winter has been wonderful, and I am adapting to life in Europe. We had
an amazing ski trip with my family in Grindelwald, Switzerland. We spent two weekends with my guy's family in the Lorraine region of France. And, to top it all off,
we found a beautiful, new apartment and my man kept his promise of
getting me those double sinks! I am looking forward to my second Spring
in France and all that the next few months have in store for me.
Although, I should say, I am disappointed that I won't be going back to
the United States as planned but I'll be back soon enough.
Do you have any other domino effect-ish things that you've noticed?
